Brain not allowing you to be happy

It does feel like my brain is my worst enemy, the never-ending noise, plus my conversations with myself. I over think and over analyse also, and definitely work myself up. Sometimes when good things happen it's hard to appreciate it, wondering what will go wrong or how I will mess it up. But also I love being in my own head, with my conversations and playing with my imagination. It's a very complicated and conflicting relationship. 

I can really relate to how you function. I had a meltdown from hell about a year ago, it was the full 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. Since then I’ve been stuck in a burnout, I have no interest in anything. My brain is in conversation with me non stop analysing every event in my life. That’s while music is normally playing in my head as well. My wife believes I turn everything into impending doom. Sleep is only achieved with sleeping pills, they only last for 3 hours and then  Groundhog Day again. 

Hi Roy, 

I've been lucky that I've never had such a meltdown. I've had moments at work where in private conversation I've ranted, sworn and cry from frustration because I can't get people to understand me. About 4 years ago i have a severe depressive episode that lasted 19 months, way longer than anything id experienced before. I wonder if that was Burnout. I've never fully recovered from it, Luke a lost a piece of myself. I don't think we turn everything into impending doom, it's just that when everything feels too complicated and scary, it's so easy to fixate on the negatives. Not because we want to, but because we are so desperate to avoid them. I also have problems with sleep, and I do have pills for it but only take them when I'm desperate. This is because I already take painkillers, and it's one of my fantasy plans that I leave this world through taking pills, and I'm trying to remove the temptation. Life does feel far too complicated to navigate, like being alone in a dark forest at night, and every sound or shadow is potential danger.

Hi Roy, 

I've been lucky that I've never had such a meltdown. I've had moments at work where in private conversation I've ranted, sworn and cry from frustration because I can't get people to understand me. About 4 years ago i have a severe depressive episode that lasted 19 months, way longer than anything id experienced before. I wonder if that was Burnout. I've never fully recovered from it, Luke a lost a piece of myself. I don't think we turn everything into impending doom, it's just that when everything feels too complicated and scary, it's so easy to fixate on the negatives. Not because we want to, but because we are so desperate to avoid them. I also have problems with sleep, and I do have pills for it but only take them when I'm desperate. This is because I already take painkillers, and it's one of my fantasy plans that I leave this world through taking pills, and I'm trying to remove the temptation. Life does feel far too complicated to navigate, like being alone in a dark forest at night, and every sound or shadow is potential danger.