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Protecting your children from Danger - where does it end???

Lady Z

Hi all, I really need your advice and support on this one.  My son's obsession with planes, trains and automobiles has gone to a whole new level - read on:

My son is 8, and has wanted to play out with his friends for a fair while now, and my husband and I decided, with the help of a tracker device on his mobile, to let him play in the street with a couple of his friends.  All was going well, he came home crying a couple of times - as always, his social behaviours are lacking, but a couple of his friends know exactly what his like - and I take my hat off to them!

So we thought that letting him play out during the school holidays was a big step to take for him and also it meant that we could have a bit of a breather.

My husband came home from the shop yesterday with some very disturbing news.  My son had been ambushing strangers in the street as they got in their cars, asking to have a look inside their cars!!

You can imagine my horror!  His time outside with his friends was immediatley revoked!  I have, however, taken a few steps of my own as childrens services seem to go to ground during holidays, evenings and weekends!

A friend of mine is a PCSO so I asked her for some advice, she is going to get in touch with the community team who have the Ben and Jet childrens awareness programme.  Also the Hypermobility Association has a lady who deals with suffers with children who have special needs, and Im waiting for her to contact me.  Im trying to get all bases covered, and then theres you all.  If theres anything else I can do or anyone else I can contact??

Many thanks to you all, in advance x

Parents

  • I hate to say it, but I would never leave my 8yo HFA daughter outside, they have very low danger awareness and you have to imagine they are minimum of 3 years younger emotionally, no matter what their IQ is.

    As soon as I started reading your post I was filled with horror.  You cannot trust other children to be responsible for your son.  I wouldn't even let my 12yo outside alone (AS) as she lives in a fantasy world and still has low awareness of danger and extreme naivety.

    You have to really protect children on the spectrum, explaining with social stories what is dangerous and why.  OK some children are less this way than others, but there will always be a degree of naivety and missing age-appropriate awareness.

    The autistic mind thinks logically.  Why would a person they didn't know want to hurt them, it doesn't make sense?

    If he wants to play with friends, do you have a back garden that you can invite a few to play in with your son?

    Letting him out on the street unsupervised is a big no-no.  Independence must be approached gradually, you must be really in tune with your son and see what he understands and analyse what he is aware of.

    I'm sure I don't need to tell you how lucky you are that he wasn't taken by one of those strangers whose cars he wanted to look inside.

    Another danger is that peers can take advantage of a child on the spectrum horribly. Dare them to do things that they are too naive to realise is wrong, and put them in situations that they will always come off worse in.

    I am coming at this from the perspective of a parent of two children on the spectrum and as an adult with Asperger's myself.

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  • I hate to say it, but I would never leave my 8yo HFA daughter outside, they have very low danger awareness and you have to imagine they are minimum of 3 years younger emotionally, no matter what their IQ is.

    As soon as I started reading your post I was filled with horror.  You cannot trust other children to be responsible for your son.  I wouldn't even let my 12yo outside alone (AS) as she lives in a fantasy world and still has low awareness of danger and extreme naivety.

    You have to really protect children on the spectrum, explaining with social stories what is dangerous and why.  OK some children are less this way than others, but there will always be a degree of naivety and missing age-appropriate awareness.

    The autistic mind thinks logically.  Why would a person they didn't know want to hurt them, it doesn't make sense?

    If he wants to play with friends, do you have a back garden that you can invite a few to play in with your son?

    Letting him out on the street unsupervised is a big no-no.  Independence must be approached gradually, you must be really in tune with your son and see what he understands and analyse what he is aware of.

    I'm sure I don't need to tell you how lucky you are that he wasn't taken by one of those strangers whose cars he wanted to look inside.

    Another danger is that peers can take advantage of a child on the spectrum horribly. Dare them to do things that they are too naive to realise is wrong, and put them in situations that they will always come off worse in.

    I am coming at this from the perspective of a parent of two children on the spectrum and as an adult with Asperger's myself.

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