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Autistic daughter and crying

NAS75635

Hi all,

I have 2 questions to ask

 1. I am an NT parent of an 11 year old high functioning autistic daughter.

When she worries, she cries and sobs (. e.g having to go to school that day). When my NT  daughter worries about something, she tells me she is worried but does not cry.

When my autistic daughter cries I feel really helpless as I want to help but do not always know what to say or do and have trouble gauging how severe her feelings/anxiety is.

A weird question- I see crying as a major sign that something is really really wrong. (e.g " So upset that she cried" how ).

With autistic children and girls in particular, does crying mean such extreme distress or is it physical  response to even a minor worry that they know they can deal with?

In other words,  should I always be on high alert when she is crying?

2. I find my daughter is much more calmer /better as the day progresses- is that common?

Thank you  for your help.

  • in reply to Martin

    Thank you Martin and Kate, I did not realise that cortisol is higher in morning. Martin, I am going to ask another question in a separate thread that is related to what you have suggested. Just because it opens up a new discussion.

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thank you Martin and Kate, I did not realise that cortisol is higher in morning. Martin, I am going to ask another question in a separate thread that is related to what you have suggested. Just because it opens up a new discussion.

  • School tends to be unpleasant for autistic people, I have never come across one who said that they cordially liked it. It is full of social and sensory stressors for autistics. Before going to school the anxiety will be at its worst. My daughter on many school mornings complained of nausea and stomach cramps, though sometimes difficult to rule out actual sickness. they were mostly the result of anxiety about school. But, whether nausea or crying, the symptoms are genuine pointers to distress. I do not know what to suggest; my daughter was only diagnosed at 18, so we had no leverage over her schools to get accommodations put into place to make school a less stressful environment. We just 'toughed it out', reassuring her as best we could. If you can find out what is particularly stressful for your daughter at school and 'reasonable accommodations' might help, then contacting the school would be useful.

  • I think signs of extreme distress (such as sobbing and crying) are still signs of extreme distress - whoever you are, autistic or not autistic. 
    I think anxiety can be worse in the morning (cortisol levels are higher in the morning). But could this be specifically related to going to school in the morning? What does she herself say about this?