So basically, when my mum finished work, she just asksif I could help someone with her web cam because it won't install or something, i just don't think she understands how my disability effects me and what aspergers is how I find it really difficult to cope day to day. I said I would be tired because I do work everyday, and I just didn't actually want to do it after work, I didn't say that but I found it difficult to say what I actually meant! But it is true, I was thinking about it when she asked me to help, It's difficult for me to change my routines for what I want to do after work, It is always when I get home, I have a bath, eat dinner then I go on games and computer all night so I can get my strss out and actually relax! Doing the things I actually WANT to do and NOT doing anymore work from that point! My mum starts moaning at me saying stop blaming it on your disability, I've changed, talking to her in a rude way etc, well just because my emotion on my face looks cross and angry, it's not who I am and what I actually felt! I felt sad and annoyed because she doesn't understand me and my aspergers! I've tried to explain hpw it effects me but it's f*cking hopeless! She just says well just don't think you have it, and it's all up to you to treat and "cure" it yourself apparently. Well, it's not as simple as that, at work, my mood and emotions, and the way I actually feel really helpful, full of energy, and the way I talk to people and actually can be bothered to work is firstly, because I am interested in doing what I do the subject/job I'm doing, and secondly I feel that they understand my aspergers better, they care about me, knowing what my needs are and how to support me because of these symptoms, instead of at home, where I just don't think they care about my aspergers, whenever I tell them about it, they just think it's a lot of crap what's coming out of my mouth, they just say, yeah, it's all up to YOU, it can be cured, plus they don't give me any other support, or they don't show any signs how they CARE about my aspergers or how they're helping to treat my aspergers. They keep saying, all you do is go on the computer after work, play games all day etc, well it's because I NEED to do this to keep me relaxed and my anxiety, stress and depression levels down and I'm NOT changing this. They said to me today you just go on your computer as it is your friend, well they're damn right because my Computer IS my friend, at least it understands ME more than YOU do. I didn't actually say this by the way. I just feel why bother speaking to them if they don't understand me. I have tried to give them a wikipedia page with chinese writing so they actually understand what aspergers is but no... I bet they didn't even bother reading it.
From my point of view with aspergers, I just feel you need someone who shows they understand how the disability is effecting you and you need support, and to show that they care, not saying that it's all up to you to solve. Not to make you feel lonely and isolated, and not to moan at them. I didn't understand what they even meant when they were talking to me because of the type of communication used!
Any suggestions on how I can actually get them to understand me so I can communicate with them properly? Although I think it's hopeless anyway, Just posting my feelings on here to make me feel better because I think no one understands me anyway.
Edit: I like how she just changed her tone of voice towards me and told me to cheer up and be happier just now when she's the one what causes me to be sad and depressed in the first place
