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I’m feeling completely hopeless with my life

NAS84619

I’ll keep this short…

I turned 28 years old a few days back and all that day did was make me feel more worse about my life, I have no friends, absolutely zero social skills and have never worked a day in my life. 

Growing up, I was moved around a lot by my mum, because of this I went to multiple different schools and as a result never made any friends, due to this I basically never learnt how to socialise with people. After leaving school back in 2011 I basically just sat at home not really knowing what to do, as the years went on my social anxiety got worse and worse to where it is today, my mum ran off with her ex boyfriend back in 2014 and made me and my younger brother homeless, leaving my dad to sort everything out. I haven’t seen my mum since.

At this point I hadn’t been diagnosed with autism, my dad was the one that first assumed that I had it, he was extremely supportive and did so much research on autism so that he could understand what it was like for me. He went with me to all my appointments too. My dad understood what autism meant… Long story short, my dad passed away in 2022 and because of this, I no longer have any family members that understand me.

I now live with just my step mum who doesn’t even believe in autism, which as a result makes things horrible for me because I am always stressed out, my life is utterly miserable, I have nothing going for me, I have no goals or plans, I know that I will never get a job and will ultimately end up on the streets because I just can’t get a job due to having no experience or qualifications and even if I did I wouldn’t be able to get through the interview without breaking down.

I seriously don’t know what to do, this post has turned more into me venting now but I seriously have no idea what to do with myself. I have this dream of getting a job and moving out of London but I know that’s never going to happen. I need advice, are there any autism groups that help people like me? Thank you and sorry for the long post.

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  • There is a path that may lead you to somewhere better. I can't tell you if it is the right path for you, it comes with challenges and difficulties, but also opportunities.

    This is the path to university. It's a chance to leave London and your step mum. To thrust yourself into a new social environment where everyone is looking to make new friends and no body knows you (or anyone else).

    This is how you do it. go find a cheap(ish) regional university in an area where the cost of living isn't too high. Talk to them about access degrees, 4 year degrees where the 1st year is like a repeat of a levels. Pick a course that interests you and has good job prospects. Apply for it and a student loan. Make sure you apply for support / reasonable adjustments at your university.

    Pros:

    • If you graduate you'll have the qualifications for a proper job, especially if you choose your degree carefully.
    • The people around you are straight out of school. Their social skills are probably better than yours but they're not expecting each other to act like 'grown ups.'
    • You'll live on campus for the first year with other people also looking to make friends which will make learning to socialise and make friends easier.
    • You'll have a contact at the university who definitely does believe in autism who will try to help you settle in and cope with your life on campus.
    • Again if you chose your course well you'll be busy and also interested. You might find you do rather well when the thing you're learning about interests you and you're given support with autism specific issues.
    • You're going to gain a lot of confidence at uni.

    Cons:

    • You will be far from your brother who I'm guessing is your last sympathetic family member?
    • You will have an age gap between you and most of your peers. This is not fatal but it can make some people a little less inclined to include you in things.
    • This will involve a lot of change in a fairly short space of time, it might be a lot to cope with.
    • Student debt. After you graduate you'll have a lot of debt which means when you do finally get a proper job your wages will be noticeably cut into.

    I'm not saying this is the right answer for you ... but you should consider it.

  • in reply to Peter

    This was what I did. I have come on in leaps and bounds since I graduated last Summer. Slight smile

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