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I’m feeling completely hopeless with my life

NAS84619

I’ll keep this short…

I turned 28 years old a few days back and all that day did was make me feel more worse about my life, I have no friends, absolutely zero social skills and have never worked a day in my life. 

Growing up, I was moved around a lot by my mum, because of this I went to multiple different schools and as a result never made any friends, due to this I basically never learnt how to socialise with people. After leaving school back in 2011 I basically just sat at home not really knowing what to do, as the years went on my social anxiety got worse and worse to where it is today, my mum ran off with her ex boyfriend back in 2014 and made me and my younger brother homeless, leaving my dad to sort everything out. I haven’t seen my mum since.

At this point I hadn’t been diagnosed with autism, my dad was the one that first assumed that I had it, he was extremely supportive and did so much research on autism so that he could understand what it was like for me. He went with me to all my appointments too. My dad understood what autism meant… Long story short, my dad passed away in 2022 and because of this, I no longer have any family members that understand me.

I now live with just my step mum who doesn’t even believe in autism, which as a result makes things horrible for me because I am always stressed out, my life is utterly miserable, I have nothing going for me, I have no goals or plans, I know that I will never get a job and will ultimately end up on the streets because I just can’t get a job due to having no experience or qualifications and even if I did I wouldn’t be able to get through the interview without breaking down.

I seriously don’t know what to do, this post has turned more into me venting now but I seriously have no idea what to do with myself. I have this dream of getting a job and moving out of London but I know that’s never going to happen. I need advice, are there any autism groups that help people like me? Thank you and sorry for the long post.

Parents

  • Hello,

    I'm so sorry that you’ve had such a tough time - no wonder you’re struggling. Apart from anything you are grieving for your dad - that alone would be difficult for anyone. And especially as your mum has let you down so badly. I’m really sorry.

    in terms of lack of social skills etc - you are far from unusual in this respect as an autistic person. My son also has no friends and feels very insecure in some of the ways you describe. So you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. 

    your step mum not ‘believing’ in autism is just ridiculous - she obviously completely lacks understanding and knowledge about autism. I’m sorry about that - that must be very difficult for you to be around. 

    The main thing to focus on I think is that things can change, your life can change. It won’t always be this way. Are there any local autism groups in your area? Have you investigated what’s available locally? Or any volunteering opportunities? I know it’s not easy but I think it would be helpful to start looking ‘outwards’ to what might be available in your local area to support autistic adults. 

    But please don’t give up hope - because in time you can take steps to improve your situation. Start with some research. Good luck !

Reply

  • Hello,

    I'm so sorry that you’ve had such a tough time - no wonder you’re struggling. Apart from anything you are grieving for your dad - that alone would be difficult for anyone. And especially as your mum has let you down so badly. I’m really sorry.

    in terms of lack of social skills etc - you are far from unusual in this respect as an autistic person. My son also has no friends and feels very insecure in some of the ways you describe. So you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. 

    your step mum not ‘believing’ in autism is just ridiculous - she obviously completely lacks understanding and knowledge about autism. I’m sorry about that - that must be very difficult for you to be around. 

    The main thing to focus on I think is that things can change, your life can change. It won’t always be this way. Are there any local autism groups in your area? Have you investigated what’s available locally? Or any volunteering opportunities? I know it’s not easy but I think it would be helpful to start looking ‘outwards’ to what might be available in your local area to support autistic adults. 

    But please don’t give up hope - because in time you can take steps to improve your situation. Start with some research. Good luck !

Children
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