I’m feeling completely hopeless with my life

I’ll keep this short…

I turned 28 years old a few days back and all that day did was make me feel more worse about my life, I have no friends, absolutely zero social skills and have never worked a day in my life. 

Growing up, I was moved around a lot by my mum, because of this I went to multiple different schools and as a result never made any friends, due to this I basically never learnt how to socialise with people. After leaving school back in 2011 I basically just sat at home not really knowing what to do, as the years went on my social anxiety got worse and worse to where it is today, my mum ran off with her ex boyfriend back in 2014 and made me and my younger brother homeless, leaving my dad to sort everything out. I haven’t seen my mum since.

At this point I hadn’t been diagnosed with autism, my dad was the one that first assumed that I had it, he was extremely supportive and did so much research on autism so that he could understand what it was like for me. He went with me to all my appointments too. My dad understood what autism meant… Long story short, my dad passed away in 2022 and because of this, I no longer have any family members that understand me.

I now live with just my step mum who doesn’t even believe in autism, which as a result makes things horrible for me because I am always stressed out, my life is utterly miserable, I have nothing going for me, I have no goals or plans, I know that I will never get a job and will ultimately end up on the streets because I just can’t get a job due to having no experience or qualifications and even if I did I wouldn’t be able to get through the interview without breaking down.

I seriously don’t know what to do, this post has turned more into me venting now but I seriously have no idea what to do with myself. I have this dream of getting a job and moving out of London but I know that’s never going to happen. I need advice, are there any autism groups that help people like me? Thank you and sorry for the long post.

Parents
  • On my 30th birthday I was an emotional wreck, I didn’t achieve anything that I wanted to achieve before I turned 30. That day was the day that I know something was very wrong with me. I had no friends, I left a job that I was suffering from abuse from my coworkers. And I was still living with my parents. 

    A few months later I got diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. It explains why I didn’t have a normal life. A life I worked so hard to attain. My mum is like all your dad. But she doesn’t fully understand me. The rest of my family is like your other family members. They don’t understand and they don’t want to understand. It’s a very hard life, they don’t know that their behavior is causing our life’s to harder and cause us more harm. And they don’t want to know, because they’ll just say “Stop being lazy”

  • that distress eventually pushes you into a job or some change anyway.

    i was around 31 or 32 feeling depressed in my parents house faced with a hopeless future and parents that are ageing and wouldnt likely last and my future at risk and crushing loneliness. that was enough to motivate me for a window to look for jobs desperately and that got me into a labourer job that takes anyone. and now has lead me to mortgage and my own place and normality aside from having any social life but with security and my own place i dont care about social life or loneliness anymore.

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  • that distress eventually pushes you into a job or some change anyway.

    i was around 31 or 32 feeling depressed in my parents house faced with a hopeless future and parents that are ageing and wouldnt likely last and my future at risk and crushing loneliness. that was enough to motivate me for a window to look for jobs desperately and that got me into a labourer job that takes anyone. and now has lead me to mortgage and my own place and normality aside from having any social life but with security and my own place i dont care about social life or loneliness anymore.

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