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Unmasking as a adult

Bearer1976
  1. I'm 46 and I have spent my life masking.

I have to mask when I'm out,at work but mostly when I'm at home with my family.  They either get stressed when i say something or jokingly put me down or they simply get stressed there self.

How do people handle it? As I just feel numb most of the time.

Parents

  • I’m only a little older than you, to be honest I only unmask with my wife. she still doesn’t fully get it but knows I am very different to the person that just smiles and waves when with family, I have tried to be me but they really wouldn’t understand. In 55 years of life, I think my family has seen me have a meltdown once, I think it was too much for them. The outcome is normally, you are strange, why did you say that? Just choose who you might think is capable of understanding. 

  • in reply to Roy

    The big problem is anything at home that happens,I can trace it back to how it started, thinking about how my words what ever they maybe or how some one else maybe effected if I say nothing and let things carry on. Some times I have said some thing to take the stress of others. The victim has normally been my 13 year old. She ist a problem her self and I don't have a problem with her.

    The person in thinking of is my step son, he would be aggressive just to get at me as he didn't want me there. He didn't care if other poeple got hurt or just upset.  My step son was 18 back then and 22 now.

    Some times I got see everything unfolding, even if I wast involved. 

    I just found it safer over the years to mask. 

    Even before I met my partner pieple couldn't cope me being me.

    I can just see the nasty nastiness in the would, and don't like it. Didn't like it ad a child and still don't know.

    Worlds scard, confused and cruel.

Reply
  • in reply to Roy

    The big problem is anything at home that happens,I can trace it back to how it started, thinking about how my words what ever they maybe or how some one else maybe effected if I say nothing and let things carry on. Some times I have said some thing to take the stress of others. The victim has normally been my 13 year old. She ist a problem her self and I don't have a problem with her.

    The person in thinking of is my step son, he would be aggressive just to get at me as he didn't want me there. He didn't care if other poeple got hurt or just upset.  My step son was 18 back then and 22 now.

    Some times I got see everything unfolding, even if I wast involved. 

    I just found it safer over the years to mask. 

    Even before I met my partner pieple couldn't cope me being me.

    I can just see the nasty nastiness in the would, and don't like it. Didn't like it ad a child and still don't know.

    Worlds scard, confused and cruel.

Children
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