Hi All,
This is my first post.
I am atill awaiting my appointment with CAMHS for a Diagnostic Assesment etc. and I have enjoyed reading all of your posts. I've found myself at ease here, just reading things after a testing day.
This week has just been exhausting:
- Worrying
- Worrying about worrying
- Getting angry at worrying about worrying
- General anxiety about ever thing and every noise especially
- Hypervigillence - who is that? Why are they there and why are hey making a noise?
- Tinnitis? or is it not tinnitis? maybe it's not tinnitis and it's just me! Or maybe I am going deaf. Yep. It's me. Drama Queen. Again.
- Ear worms - constant blinkin songs! When I'm sixty four by The Beatles...and Life's a gas by T-Rex. Over and over. Thanks brain!
- Catastrophising. Why? Why can't a problem be just a problem and why do I see Armageddon in everything!
- Why people are liars. Why they are not liars and it's me at fault.
- Uni - work. I can't do this.... I can do this! Then angry about feeling anxious about it....
- ..but what if I fail. What if they see I am not clever enough or think I am a fake. I should stick to easy things.
- Stupid invasive thoughts. I am trying to write an essay on Addiction and end up being sidelined by American Baseball. I've never been to a game or seen a game fully but hey! lets buy a baseball shirt off Ebay... just because....
I wonder what it is really like to relax and not be sabotaged by yourself.
My impulsiveness is off the scale today.
Shame id don't feel like that about dusting