Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! I'm new here, so a bit nervous to post. I'm 29 years old in Feb and got my official diagnosis of autism after a long wait in October of 2022.
Unfortunately I had to take some time from work due to autistic + type 1 diabetes burnout, as I work in a busy call centre and the constant customer service + office environment masking made me very unwell. I have had approximately 2 and a half weeks off now, and my sick note runs out today, so I am back in tomorrow. Although the time off to regulate myself and be authentic to my actual needs has been nice and much needed, I am now left with a constant overwhelming anxiety about having to go back to work.
I usually have a very strong work ethic, but for some reason I am absolutely dreading having to go back in to where the demand is high for masking again, to the point I can feel myself getting overwhelmed before I've even gone back in. I don't really know what to do or who to confide in as I keep getting told that it's normal to feel nervous about going back after time off. I'm scared that I'll push myself to go in and then breakdown and start uncontrollably crying again like I did before I took some sick leave. I know that there's nothing that can be done for me and all actions are my own, but perhaps I'm hoping for some advice or suggestions, or maybe even just a safe space to vent. I also acknowledge that not everyone is able to work so I'm sorry if this is a sensitive topic for anyone personally. Thank you.
If you need more time off, ask your GP, and it really shouldn’t be a problem. I think if you’re off for 4 weeks it’s classed as long term sickness….in some places anyway. In which case, you’ll need to chat with your employers. You may be able to come back to work gradually. I think if they know, they need to do something to make things easier for you.
It’s normal for a lot of NT people to feel nervous going to back to work after a long time off, but for someone who is Autistic, it’s more like dread. I know, because I feel it every week I restart my shifts, and it’s worse when I’ve had holiday for just a week! Not to take away from your troubles at all, but if I say I spent most of yesterday in tears, then went into work that evening, thinking I was going to cry (but didn’t). I had imaged everything would be awful, and people would see me cry, and then I’d tell them about me being autistic etc etc..When in reality it was pretty much a non event. Only you know what can and can’t manage right now, so take care of you, and don’t worry about what other think, or if you feel like your letting yourself down. You aren’t. Rest and self care is number one.