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Large groups of (strange) people

stranger

I think this is part of the issue.

In October, I joined a music group and there was something like 8 people and I quickly settled in. Someone mentioned that there was a group which was quite a bit closer to me and I asked for some information on them.

I was then contacted via Facebook by 2 people who attend the group. I attended the group and settled in with no problem.

I was asked by various members of each group if / when there was going to be a group set up where I am. (not because they wanted to get rid of me; but due to travel stuff / distance)

The group was set up in May and by this time, I'd left the first group because of distance, which I'd discussed with organiser.

At first, we only had 5-6 people there, which I was fine with and had been talking to one of them for about 6 months previously.

We put an advert in the local paper because not everyone has access to Facebook (how the group was set up) and a lot of people turned up.

This appears to have caused a serious problem for me and I've really not enjoyed the previous 2 (didn't go last week) weeks.

I am finding it far too overwhelming socially to be in a group that big. :( It wasn't helped by going from 6 people to 20. It may have been easier if it had increased slowly.

Does anyone else get this? Yet, I can happily go to the pub with a few friends when there's loads of people in there with no problem.

I have just been asked about where I've been from another member. No-one is aware that I'm Autistic and how much of an issue this is becoming.

Parents

  • Possibly simpler to say "I don't know if you've noticed I'm not finding it easy to get to know people in the new larger group. I'm not good at this. Could you look out for me please, and let me know if I'm still handling things badly?"

    Your friend probably does notice you are having difficulty. But friends make these allowances. It will be difficult for your friend to explain to others why they stick with you when you don't seem to be blending in. But that's the sort of thing friends do........apparently.......

    You don't have to disclose your asperger's to achieve this. That might be putting a difficult burden on your friend, as Scorpion0x17 advises.

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  • Possibly simpler to say "I don't know if you've noticed I'm not finding it easy to get to know people in the new larger group. I'm not good at this. Could you look out for me please, and let me know if I'm still handling things badly?"

    Your friend probably does notice you are having difficulty. But friends make these allowances. It will be difficult for your friend to explain to others why they stick with you when you don't seem to be blending in. But that's the sort of thing friends do........apparently.......

    You don't have to disclose your asperger's to achieve this. That might be putting a difficult burden on your friend, as Scorpion0x17 advises.

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