If I had a pound for every social event that I didn’t want to attend, I would be rich. My mood change will start weeks before the event, it would peak the week before with either becoming non verbal or instigating an argument. This went on for years, I didn’t know I am autistic. My wife often had to attend things on her own. Option B was I would drink so much alcohol , I could l shut down the anxiety, most probably the wrong way to express it but, I could stop being so autistic for a few hours, I don’t recommend it, it doesn’t cure the miscommunication problems! Most people who matter know I’m autistic and will rescue me, my wife doesn’t pressure me anymore, she now really gets how much it affects me, it’s one less thing that I beat myself up for now. Limit the time at an event, I use excuses if I do attend, “ just need to get something from the car,” escape for 10 minutes and have quiet time.
I'd drink too, be the life and soul of the party then the day after back to my usual quiet self. That'd always make me feel awkward. On the other hand if I didn't drink or stayed quiet, colleagues would say "oh weren't you quiet last night".
Most people who matter know I’m autistic and will rescue me
I like that. That's why I want to tell the people I struggle with. Because they do matter and I know they would be as understanding as they could be (without actually understanding it....)
Trusting people is a big step, to be honest most don’t understand, we do have to give them the chance though, i give little bits of how much I’m affected by autism. I’ve had responses that are surprising, I’m restoring a classic VW beetle for a customer at the moment, I fell very behind with it, the owner kept ringing me, I don’t answer phones. He finally contacted me through text, that’s fine for me. I explained that I should have been honest from the start, I’m autistic and struggle with anxiety and communication, the customer is about 6ft 4 and huge, he came to see me and told me not to worry, he told me that he suffers from anxiety and takes medication, he then said that he was also dyslexic. We are never far from another neurodivergent person. We just need to trust our autistic ability. Men are really terrible with taking about mental health, it turns out more men are actually in the same boat than we ever realised.
Trusting people is a big step, to be honest most don’t understand, we do have to give them the chance though, i give little bits of how much I’m affected by autism. I’ve had responses that are surprising, I’m restoring a classic VW beetle for a customer at the moment, I fell very behind with it, the owner kept ringing me, I don’t answer phones. He finally contacted me through text, that’s fine for me. I explained that I should have been honest from the start, I’m autistic and struggle with anxiety and communication, the customer is about 6ft 4 and huge, he came to see me and told me not to worry, he told me that he suffers from anxiety and takes medication, he then said that he was also dyslexic. We are never far from another neurodivergent person. We just need to trust our autistic ability. Men are really terrible with taking about mental health, it turns out more men are actually in the same boat than we ever realised.
I think being honest is a good approach. I'm glad it opened up things between you and the customer. A lot of people have stuff going on regardless of their brain wiring and I think one of the ways to normalise neurodivergency and mental health is to talk about it. It also makes us see that there ARE people out there like us. I think there will be a movement for an umbrella of neurodivergency encompassing dyslexia, autism etc as many aspects cross over.
