Your original post was a true reflection of how an upcoming social event was making you feel. Something that many of us can relate to and you should not feel guilty for posting it.
I agree but I feel I over share on here. I'm conscious it's a public forum. I wish there was something where we could post private group messages. I was on discord but left.
I know I'm harsh on myself. Its another hard habit to break. Chipping away at that one.
I just feel other people are able to advocate for themselves. I mean probably allistic people. They also people please and mask but I feel they haven't had a lifetime of autistic masking. I just feel a lot of other people, if they were *ill* etc would say they weren't going. I can hide behind the health matter. I just feel that *being autistic* isn't enough of a good enough reason bevause people inherently DON'T understand it unless you are stereotypical autistic which I very much am not. Even then they might not do.
And after a lifetime of pushing through, which has in the end probably contributed to the ill health, I still don't feel able to say no when I want to. There's an element of that I feel accepted and don't want to jeopardise that. Also that other people only have so much patience. Also that other people do a lot to help me so I need to do a bit in return.
I watched the video. Really thank you for sharing I've never seen Kieran Rose before. It was really good and validating although i dont like using that word for some reason. . It sort of linked into realisations I've been having the past few days. Things are dawning on me big time and this video is confirming that. Although it is only the perspective of one person, i can see he knows his stuff. Taking what hes talked about...I think as long as there are the societal expectations of how men and women should behave or what he calls the golden standard of normal, then we are always going to end up masking to a certain extent.
I still believe we have a degree of flexibility (plasticity) as we get older. But yes our habits become engrained early on. I wonder how much is to do with our automatic default mode network. I find I can't mask the same if ive taken certain....*plant medicines*
I still believe we have a degree of flexibility (plasticity) as we get older. But yes our habits become engrained early on. I wonder how much is to do with our automatic default mode network. I find I can't mask the same if ive taken certain....*plant medicines*
