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My autistic boyfriend goes radio silence when stressfull things happen.

NAS84357

Right now, exams are coming up and we need to learn or make them. I know school work drains him and he has a lot of stress but everytime he gets mad at me or he just ignores me out of the blue. Last week I got zero communication just out of nowhere and monday he confessed in his way that school was hard and that he was having long days, he didnt explain why he ignored me the whole week that was just his comments. So i am assuming its the reason he did it but then this wednesday I sent him a text that I wanted to hug him and miss him and he again went radio silence on me after that sentence, did I freak him out? I already askes him if maybe I was the problem and he wanted to break up but to those he doesnt answer and acted all normal Monday. I really dont know what to do. Is his behaviour there because of the huge amount of stress he is going through of school or ? and how do I help to make him feel supported if he just pushes me away for no reason.

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  • Talking is just extra hard work for autistic people when they are stressed.  It's not that he's ignoring you, he's just trying to manage all the pressures that he is under.  Those pressures are even bigger for an autistic person than for a non-autistic one because we don't have access to all the same information that the majority have. 

    When he was able to tell you that school was hard, that was probably a huge deal for him, the kind of conversation that makes your heart pound and your skin prickle.  It's going to take a lot of work to get through those kinds of feelings.  Give him space if he needs it, but let him know that you're there for him when he's ready.

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  • Talking is just extra hard work for autistic people when they are stressed.  It's not that he's ignoring you, he's just trying to manage all the pressures that he is under.  Those pressures are even bigger for an autistic person than for a non-autistic one because we don't have access to all the same information that the majority have. 

    When he was able to tell you that school was hard, that was probably a huge deal for him, the kind of conversation that makes your heart pound and your skin prickle.  It's going to take a lot of work to get through those kinds of feelings.  Give him space if he needs it, but let him know that you're there for him when he's ready.

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