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My friend has started dating,

Bodhisattva- neil

I don’t have a large amount of friends, most people I interact with are colleagues and the interaction is work based.

my social circle is made up of two ladies, both a similar age to me, one of them has been dating guys for as long as I can remember. I have never been over bothered by “boyfriends” that have come along and gone away. 
The second friend has recently started dating a guy and it has really effected me., so much so that I considering pulling away from her. 
Has  anyone else felt like this and how have you behaved in a situation such as this 

all thoughts are welcome.

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  • In the past, I remember feeling somewhat threatened when a friend of mine entered into a new relationship because I feared it would result in us socialising less. Whilst that did end up being the case, I gradually learnt to adjust and accept it, and not allow my feelings to ruin our friendship. 

    Although we saw less of each other, we would phone each other fairly regularly.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly
    Sporadic Sparkly said:
    I remember feeling somewhat threatened 

    I’m guessing that is what is going on for me. I need to work on acceptance. 

  • in reply to Bodhisattva- neil

    Speaking from experience, I have found that when female friends are in relationships, they still want to maintain some form of contact with their friends. After all, friends are generally the people who will stick around and help them to pick up the pieces if their relationships don't work out.

    Unless your friend suddenly decides to end her friendship with you, which is unlikely if she values the friendship, my advice would be to focus on appreciating the friendship you have, rather than dwelling on how threatened you are currently feeling. Relaxed

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    My three main IRL male friends have all married. Two of them are great about regular contact an occasional catch ups (occasional is my pace of life anyway!), the third is very nested since marrying three years ago and seldom makes contact. I hear that that scenario is much more common, leaving the single friend to make one way efforts or fade away into Christmas card territory. So I’m grateful that I’m beating the odds by dint of the particular dynamics of our wee group. 

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  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    My three main IRL male friends have all married. Two of them are great about regular contact an occasional catch ups (occasional is my pace of life anyway!), the third is very nested since marrying three years ago and seldom makes contact. I hear that that scenario is much more common, leaving the single friend to make one way efforts or fade away into Christmas card territory. So I’m grateful that I’m beating the odds by dint of the particular dynamics of our wee group. 

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