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Messy Bedroom

NAS83880

Hello, 

I care for a young person (12) who has a diagnosis of Autism. 

As a team we are really struggling to have a tidy bedroom. 

We have offered rails / clear boxes so they can visually see their items and offer to help tidy every day so this doesn't get worse. 

Unfortunately, the above has not worked. 

It got to a stage where we had to tidy this when they left the home but this lead to melt down after due to them not knowing where their items are. 

We as a team have to ensure they have a tidy bedroom but want to respect and support her diagnosis. 

Do you have any tips on how we can approach this? 

Thank you! 

  • in reply to Steven

    The type of malaise the genius possess, and the insane lament. 

    (Dr Evil) 

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    I was always a mess, as was my brother; though he's now tidier, and I'm not. Stuck out tongue

  • in reply to HP35

    Just re-label it as 'creative disarray', and then everyone can feel better. To be more serious, I hope you can find a good compromise. I find too much mess distressing myself, but am not exactly super tidy either. Minor clutter is comforting if it's not all higgeldy piggledy

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    'Laziness' is too often misinterpreted.

  • As a child, the only time my bedroom was tidy was when my mother got fed up with it looking like a pigsty and decided to take matters into her own hands. This was usually when I was at school and therefore had no say in the matter. My argument was that it was easier for me to find things when my bedroom was a mess. From my perspective, carefully removing items from drawers or boxes to find what I was looking for, and then neatly putting back all the other items I had removed was far too time-consuming and required more effort.

    If having a messy bedroom means the child in question is at risk of injuring themselves, then the only thing I can suggest is to have a conversation with them and see if some kind of compromise can be reached.

  • Why do you want the bedroom to be arranged in a certain way? Why can't it stay messy?

  • Why does she have to have a tidy bedroom? How tidy are your standards? I am not a tidy person and have always failed at this, but my ideal aesthetic is not minimalist but more boho. I would like to achieve this, but I would not enjoy the overly tidy and ordered environments that tidy people favour, I need to see a certain amount of friendly clutter or the place does not seem homely to me.

    If I go to a hotel it feels too impersonal so I want to scatter a few of my things around so it feels less alien. I don't know if this is my autism, my ADHD inattentive type or just me!

    Maybe have a chat with her about what her ideal room would be like, look at some images on pinterest or web searches?

    Another thought - when I have been in burnout or stress I seem to make a clutter fort or cocoon, it's not even just about not wanting to tidy up then, it's somehow protective. 12 is a very difficult age as there is a lot of change, puberty, what was called senior school when I was there, what is it now, high school?

    Your post sounds so impersonal (observation, not criticism) is this your daughter or is she in care or what?

  • Hi

    Have you talked to her about it? Could you see if you could both make a list with ideas? Map out where everything could go and where she would like it to go. She could maybe colour coordinate boxes or decorate the boxes to make them more special and fun. My own mum did this with me, it helped and worked for me.

    Good luck I hope you find something that helps.