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Struggling to speak in new situations/with new people - different from mutism

sphynx

Hi everyone, 

I notice that when in group situations, new situations, or meeting new people, I often really struggle to speak. I don't think it's mutism though - I do speak, just very little, and I really struggle to know what to say. I sometimes notice it with friends too, despite being with comfortable with words/language/verbal communication in other contexts. It feels like I've only recently started to make the link between this experience and being Autistic, and I'm a little worried as I hope to start training as a therapist in a few months and would hate for this to happen with clients. 

I've almost never scripted, as (despite how scary it can be) I prefer to feel that conversations are happening 'organically' - and also I would probably be very thrown if I prepared a thorough script or even just a structural outline only to have the interaction go in a different direction from what I've planned. Wondering if anyone has thoughts on any of this, or strategies for dealing with it? Thanks in advance :)  

Parents

  • Same here.

    So instead of focusing on the person or situation, I've been focusing on developing my own needs & tendancies. I have found if I care less about the outcome then I relax more in the situation.

    So, if I can 'genuinely' develop an internal confidence to not care, and know I am ok, and the person I am should be accepted, then I relax more.

    Even when rejected or ignored, you are still worth listing to. So speak your truth, and those who don't like it or won't listen, then they aren't the right people to engage. Simples.

    You can still be kind whilst doing this. But it does take practice.

    I think 'we' as ND often feel we need to fit in. We don't. We need to be accepted. That's different. But also equal.

Reply

  • Same here.

    So instead of focusing on the person or situation, I've been focusing on developing my own needs & tendancies. I have found if I care less about the outcome then I relax more in the situation.

    So, if I can 'genuinely' develop an internal confidence to not care, and know I am ok, and the person I am should be accepted, then I relax more.

    Even when rejected or ignored, you are still worth listing to. So speak your truth, and those who don't like it or won't listen, then they aren't the right people to engage. Simples.

    You can still be kind whilst doing this. But it does take practice.

    I think 'we' as ND often feel we need to fit in. We don't. We need to be accepted. That's different. But also equal.

Children
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