anyone else in same boat? or not in the same boat? dont worry this question is not about boats! or being seasick lol. but about not working and no friends.

I can't work due to autism and other related elements. 

I used to socialise a bit, when I say a bit maybe once a month, but I did make a friend once and we would meet up once a week after her work, and we would just go for one drink or even out to tea and have a laugh. but we are no longer friends and no longer in contact. I think she came across as an NT but I think she was autistic as she always texted me when she was seeing her boyfriend she kept asking me for reassurance, she kept thinking she would loose him. I told her to go to counselling (as her relationship anxiety was starting to ruin our friendship) but she took offence and cut off being friends with me. 

I had met this friend when I was at university, and now I dont have any friends. 

I am also scared of people who might ask me what I work as, I have came up with just saying that I do work on my computer from home so that I do not get the stigma of not working. But they will tell that I have little money as I live in a small studio flat. I like my flat, but people my age have one bedroom flats, are in a relationship with some nice guy, and out a few nights a week. 

I just sit at home, wondering how I am ever going to make friends again, as I am young for my age.

I do miss going out and pretending to be an NT for a few hours. 

I hate the stigma of not working or being autistic. 

I cant work due to meltdowns, I get bullied, I need time to recover and be quiet and no one wants someone that goes into the loo for an hour or more at a time to escape. 

I come across as posh or having class it is just the way I am even though I do not have money. 

Parents
  • Hi, Do you have any special interests or hobbies through which you can meet people?
    I know it’s not that easy- I also don’t have many friends and most of those I have, I met at university through common interests (science) but it is much harder to meet people after university and at this point I lack the energy to meet anyone (burnout), though I am constantly feeling very lonely which seems stupid. I feel too exhausted and too much of a mess to see people at moment (especially as I am not that close to people i know in my area)- i would like to talk to people on phone but I am scared to ask if we can phone instead as I don’t know if they would understand why i don’t want to see them in person. I miss a lot of aspects of lockdown actually. sorry i just rambled on about my own problems.

    i do think meeting people through shared interests will maximise your chances of coming across someone you connect to. Turns out a lot of my friends are neurodivergent (though i only found out when i was diagnosed)- i think sometimes it can be easier to connect to other neurodivergent people. Hope you find someone you connect to soon! 

  • aww thanks Ann, pitty all the people who answered me today that we sadly do not live near each other, if that was the case then I am sure we would all be friends. Thanks I do have interests like art (not very good at art) and music (that is my special subject). So maybe a creative club or something. I even like greeting card making.

  • yes, we would all make good friends :). Art and music is nice! I used to fold origami and also liked to sing though I haven't in a while. What kind of music do you like? Maybe there is something music related in your area that you could do? Or like you say something related to art :) fingerscrossed!! 

  • wow origami, that sounds so cool. 

    Oh gosh I did once go to crotchet class, tea and cake were included in the price, the woman showed me several times how to do it .embarrassingly I just could not get it done right at all, I sat there like an idiot, and she showed me again and again, I just stood up and said I was just going to go and get my coffee and cake, and I went downstairs and bolted. 

Reply
  • wow origami, that sounds so cool. 

    Oh gosh I did once go to crotchet class, tea and cake were included in the price, the woman showed me several times how to do it .embarrassingly I just could not get it done right at all, I sat there like an idiot, and she showed me again and again, I just stood up and said I was just going to go and get my coffee and cake, and I went downstairs and bolted. 

Children
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