• Replies 29 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 2560 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

anyone else in same boat? or not in the same boat? dont worry this question is not about boats! or being seasick lol. but about not working and no friends.

Deleted too

I can't work due to autism and other related elements. 

I used to socialise a bit, when I say a bit maybe once a month, but I did make a friend once and we would meet up once a week after her work, and we would just go for one drink or even out to tea and have a laugh. but we are no longer friends and no longer in contact. I think she came across as an NT but I think she was autistic as she always texted me when she was seeing her boyfriend she kept asking me for reassurance, she kept thinking she would loose him. I told her to go to counselling (as her relationship anxiety was starting to ruin our friendship) but she took offence and cut off being friends with me. 

I had met this friend when I was at university, and now I dont have any friends. 

I am also scared of people who might ask me what I work as, I have came up with just saying that I do work on my computer from home so that I do not get the stigma of not working. But they will tell that I have little money as I live in a small studio flat. I like my flat, but people my age have one bedroom flats, are in a relationship with some nice guy, and out a few nights a week. 

I just sit at home, wondering how I am ever going to make friends again, as I am young for my age.

I do miss going out and pretending to be an NT for a few hours. 

I hate the stigma of not working or being autistic. 

I cant work due to meltdowns, I get bullied, I need time to recover and be quiet and no one wants someone that goes into the loo for an hour or more at a time to escape. 

I come across as posh or having class it is just the way I am even though I do not have money. 

Parents

  • Hi, Do you have any special interests or hobbies through which you can meet people?
    I know it’s not that easy- I also don’t have many friends and most of those I have, I met at university through common interests (science) but it is much harder to meet people after university and at this point I lack the energy to meet anyone (burnout), though I am constantly feeling very lonely which seems stupid. I feel too exhausted and too much of a mess to see people at moment (especially as I am not that close to people i know in my area)- i would like to talk to people on phone but I am scared to ask if we can phone instead as I don’t know if they would understand why i don’t want to see them in person. I miss a lot of aspects of lockdown actually. sorry i just rambled on about my own problems.

    i do think meeting people through shared interests will maximise your chances of coming across someone you connect to. Turns out a lot of my friends are neurodivergent (though i only found out when i was diagnosed)- i think sometimes it can be easier to connect to other neurodivergent people. Hope you find someone you connect to soon! 

  • in reply to Ann :)

    aww thanks Ann, pitty all the people who answered me today that we sadly do not live near each other, if that was the case then I am sure we would all be friends. Thanks I do have interests like art (not very good at art) and music (that is my special subject). So maybe a creative club or something. I even like greeting card making.

  • in reply to Deleted too

    That's a point. If you can find an online small community for a hobby you're into, getting to know and trust those people over time might lead to a catch-up in person now and again. I joined a Discord group about 18 months ago, a Doctor Who one, and have since met up for coffee with one of its members who happens to live not too far from me (I actually recorded a podcast ep with him before that even, it's strange how things go sometimes). And I may meet some of the others at a specific convention in England when it next runs, if I can find the money and the nerve. But yes, that arm's length (so to speak) tentative getting to know people in an online safe-space can, with patience, lead to the sorts of fun catch-ups (and then week of recuperating!) that you mention. I'm the closest thing in this word to a hermit (partly choice, partly overwhelm), so my tiny social circle didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. And you seem way too nice for the universe not to send a friend your way... sooner or later.

Reply
  • in reply to Deleted too

    That's a point. If you can find an online small community for a hobby you're into, getting to know and trust those people over time might lead to a catch-up in person now and again. I joined a Discord group about 18 months ago, a Doctor Who one, and have since met up for coffee with one of its members who happens to live not too far from me (I actually recorded a podcast ep with him before that even, it's strange how things go sometimes). And I may meet some of the others at a specific convention in England when it next runs, if I can find the money and the nerve. But yes, that arm's length (so to speak) tentative getting to know people in an online safe-space can, with patience, lead to the sorts of fun catch-ups (and then week of recuperating!) that you mention. I'm the closest thing in this word to a hermit (partly choice, partly overwhelm), so my tiny social circle didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. And you seem way too nice for the universe not to send a friend your way... sooner or later.

Children
No Data