anyone else in same boat? or not in the same boat? dont worry this question is not about boats! or being seasick lol. but about not working and no friends.

I can't work due to autism and other related elements. 

I used to socialise a bit, when I say a bit maybe once a month, but I did make a friend once and we would meet up once a week after her work, and we would just go for one drink or even out to tea and have a laugh. but we are no longer friends and no longer in contact. I think she came across as an NT but I think she was autistic as she always texted me when she was seeing her boyfriend she kept asking me for reassurance, she kept thinking she would loose him. I told her to go to counselling (as her relationship anxiety was starting to ruin our friendship) but she took offence and cut off being friends with me. 

I had met this friend when I was at university, and now I dont have any friends. 

I am also scared of people who might ask me what I work as, I have came up with just saying that I do work on my computer from home so that I do not get the stigma of not working. But they will tell that I have little money as I live in a small studio flat. I like my flat, but people my age have one bedroom flats, are in a relationship with some nice guy, and out a few nights a week. 

I just sit at home, wondering how I am ever going to make friends again, as I am young for my age.

I do miss going out and pretending to be an NT for a few hours. 

I hate the stigma of not working or being autistic. 

I cant work due to meltdowns, I get bullied, I need time to recover and be quiet and no one wants someone that goes into the loo for an hour or more at a time to escape. 

I come across as posh or having class it is just the way I am even though I do not have money. 

Parents
  • You dont need to measure yourself against other people, lots of people only have studio flats and dont have relationships and go out partying.

    Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I am struggling with breakdowns and burnouts at work so I know its not easy

    I hope you can find somewhere where you can meet people, are there any autism groups in your area? I have one near where I live and they have monthly socials, its really good 

Reply
  • You dont need to measure yourself against other people, lots of people only have studio flats and dont have relationships and go out partying.

    Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I am struggling with breakdowns and burnouts at work so I know its not easy

    I hope you can find somewhere where you can meet people, are there any autism groups in your area? I have one near where I live and they have monthly socials, its really good 

Children
  • That's something I also needed to hear today. I can feel freakishly anomalous sometimes, when in fact I'm just in a valid and even important minority. Standard media tropes don't help either. Society needs a pressure valve and that's those of us who live alone, don't actively seek to couple up, don't put more new people into the world, etc.