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anyone else in same boat? or not in the same boat? dont worry this question is not about boats! or being seasick lol. but about not working and no friends.

Deleted too

I can't work due to autism and other related elements. 

I used to socialise a bit, when I say a bit maybe once a month, but I did make a friend once and we would meet up once a week after her work, and we would just go for one drink or even out to tea and have a laugh. but we are no longer friends and no longer in contact. I think she came across as an NT but I think she was autistic as she always texted me when she was seeing her boyfriend she kept asking me for reassurance, she kept thinking she would loose him. I told her to go to counselling (as her relationship anxiety was starting to ruin our friendship) but she took offence and cut off being friends with me. 

I had met this friend when I was at university, and now I dont have any friends. 

I am also scared of people who might ask me what I work as, I have came up with just saying that I do work on my computer from home so that I do not get the stigma of not working. But they will tell that I have little money as I live in a small studio flat. I like my flat, but people my age have one bedroom flats, are in a relationship with some nice guy, and out a few nights a week. 

I just sit at home, wondering how I am ever going to make friends again, as I am young for my age.

I do miss going out and pretending to be an NT for a few hours. 

I hate the stigma of not working or being autistic. 

I cant work due to meltdowns, I get bullied, I need time to recover and be quiet and no one wants someone that goes into the loo for an hour or more at a time to escape. 

I come across as posh or having class it is just the way I am even though I do not have money. 

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  • in reply to Deleted too

    You're lucky to look younger than your age. I know one thing that really helped me for a time was joining a social anxiety group in my local area. I found it on that Meet-up site/app. Maybe your area has something similar? That was pre-diagnosis for me and, looking back, I'm sure the group had it's fair share of autistic or neurodivergent people. 

    It's such a shame that society sometimes makes us feel we can't be more honest about our life situation. Not working when you can't work is no crime, and it's their fault not yours if they judge you for it. but I know it's not that straightforward in our own heads. I'm sorry that things have got a little lonelier for you. Actually that's not a word you used is it? It's more that you need/like a lot of alone time, but the occasional offset is missing when it wasn't before. For greater balance. Hopefully that will change, you seem a kind and thoughtful person and deserve a good friend or three to rely on.