Published on 12, July, 2020
What do you do if you can't work in a normal job? I have tried to go to work for 15 years now, job after job and it always ends the same way in a burnout or a breakdown, sometimes both. I am now working in a school again and its an even more complicated job than I'm used to and I just cant cope with it.
I am so burned out I just want to run away somewhere and hide. It feels like I'm drowning but I'm not allowed reach the surface cos I have to stay in the place Im drowning. I feel trapped and scared. Every job makes me feel like this. Its like there is a wall in front of me that I physically cant push through but yet I am being made to keep trying to run through it over and over.
What do I do if I cant work though? I have been turned down for PIP twice and dont hold out much hope for Limited Capability to Work either. I am terrified of the Job Centre and going for weekly appoitments there causes me nearly as much anxiety as actually going to work.
I do freelance writing a lot but hardly ever manage to earn any money off it. Im good at it and I love it and I can do it from home but I think Ive earned £220 off it in the last 4 years so its hardly a stable income. I have two kids to support and rent to pay. We are on UC but they put pressure on me to work and we could lose it if I dont. My wife does a little bit of part time work but we have a baby so she cant do much as she looks after her most of the time.
Just dont know what to do. Is there anyway I can still earn enough money to support the family without having to go to a traditional workplace with bosses and expectations and noise and loads of people?
I really do feel for you because it's a horrible situation to find yourself in. A few months ago I was referred to the DWP Work & Health Programme, but found that my dealings with the third-party organisation who have the contract in my area, made my mental health considerably worse. I felt that I wasn't being heard, and was expected to run before I had learned to walk. As a result, my UC work coach urged me to obtain a fit note and go down the Work Capability Assessment (the only option available). Currently, I'm awaiting the dreaded assessment.
As AuTriker has said, would the private tuition route be a viable option for you?
Edited to add: Sorry, have just read your reply to AuTriker.