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Routines vs connecting with others

HP35

I've spent this year setting up good food and sleep routines. I have found a daily diet that works for me and for the first time in my life my digestion is stable, I'm not having daily pain, and for the first time since I was a baby I feel comfortable going into some situations with limited toilet availability. I've even managed to gain some weight! I've also stopped fighting my natural sleep schedule and am getting eight hours sleep a night. I'm no longer breaking down sobbing about how tired I am. It's wonderful. I feel like I'm fully alive for the first time in my life.

The problem is that as soon as I start to connect with anyone, they expect me to break these routines. I can literally explain to them about how I eat the same meals every day and how positive an effect it's had on me, and how I sleep 8pm-4am, and almost immediately they're like, "awesome... hey do you want to come around for dinner on Saturday? Starts at 8pm, I'm making chili." Then when I say no, I can't eat that and I'm asleep then, they just repeat the same kind of invitation ad nauseum for months afterwards. The more I go into explanations, the more they start pathologizing me and suggesting medications etc, usually things I've already tried unsuccessfully.

Do they just expect me to compromise? I'm reluctant to do that because of how physically and mentally unwell I became from doing so in the past.

Parents

  • I can understand that you have a solid routine that you feel works rather well for you. But, if you like this friend, and want to see them socially, then I don’t see why you couldn’t change your routine as a one off. Perhaps by cooking for them, or asking for your friend to cook the meal you prefer to eat? Failing that, just go out and do something else.

    As for them suggesting medication, it sounds like they are just trying to offer help. Clearly they don’t understand your ways, and they are simply suggesting you try xyz, as that’s what they’ve heard might help. I wouldn’t take offence to it. They just don’t know any better.

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  • I can understand that you have a solid routine that you feel works rather well for you. But, if you like this friend, and want to see them socially, then I don’t see why you couldn’t change your routine as a one off. Perhaps by cooking for them, or asking for your friend to cook the meal you prefer to eat? Failing that, just go out and do something else.

    As for them suggesting medication, it sounds like they are just trying to offer help. Clearly they don’t understand your ways, and they are simply suggesting you try xyz, as that’s what they’ve heard might help. I wouldn’t take offence to it. They just don’t know any better.

Children
  • in reply to Catlover

    No one finds my food acceptable. My body forces me to eat in unfashionable ways: vegetables boiled completely soft, high in simple starches, no spices. I wouldn't trust someone else not to take my instructions and then serve me a plate of half-raw veg that is going to go straight through me without digesting. If I serve them what I have they mock it, go on and on and on about how weird it is, and/or start suggesting improvements.

    The problem with changing my routine as a one off is that it takes me the best part of a week to physically recover from the effects. E.g. if I stay up late, I feel like a zombie for several days afterwards, earn no income because I can't concentrate, and it feels like I've given away several days of my life for what is never worth it.

    I kind of hate having people in my place, but I guess I could. Really I prefer to only see people at the groups I met them in, but I suppose you never get closer to people that way.