Told I'm gullible, infantilised and gaslit.

I have been told I'm gullible for giving homeless people money, but tbh I have a 9k motorcycle so I'm pretty sure I won't miss my spare change which is usually under £10 anyway. I feel gaslit tbh, I'm pretty sure I'm not gullible just that the NT who said this is scary level apathetic to the plight of other people.
But I am frequently made to feel this way as an autist, by being subject to language intended to make me feel like I'm some helpless child who can't speak up for myself or walk away from a bad situation, but tbh I have walked away from a narcissistic abuser, and I'm not afraid to, abrupt or politely as necessary, tell people to p*ss off.

Also I was homeless myself albeit very briefly, and tbh I consider it more an empathy thing, because once upon a time that very easily could have been me on the street.

Does anyone else experience this kind of infantilisation in adulthood just because we have autism?

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  • Yes tobacco because I wanted to and cannabis because I wanted to know if I could, or because I had certain types of work. You don't want your 200 hour inspection done on a C47 by someone who fired up a phatty on the way to work. (although some do...) 

    Tobacco is hard and recidivism easy, eight years off it is my record, with a fair few shorter periods.

    Cannabis easy, for as long as I think is long enough, or when the work ends. I'm genuinely trying to work out with my friends and family if it's an addiction or a useful medicine. It certainly dials the impulse control issue right back, lifts my mood, and makes me think more and act less. All of which are benefits. 

    As for your "beggar" being a substance abuser, you aren't going to fix it or save him by not giving him any money, and making your gift conditional on him fitting your ideals seems wrong to me, so you either give 'em nothing, (my default because that's usually what I am carrying, and often also my net financial worth on the day, OR you give em enough for a ten quid deal, six pack of stella PLUS a meal and a packet of fags and maybe a bit for the day after.

    The theory being that with a full belly and no pressing drug requirement, the poor beggar gets an actual brief HOLIDAY, and I've had some real good ideas in my "down time".

    I'm going to be short of the money whatever they do with it, at least if I can give them respite from their immediate and urgent issues all at once, it stops 'em bothering people who don't like it, and my money definitely makes them briefly but genuinely "happier". But it was in the late nineties when I could last do anything like that... 

  • Yh it's heavily implied in my other posts but I used to drink a lot when I was homeless, mostly so I didn't feel the cold so much but also because it numbed the emotional pain of being in that situation. But once my situation improved I didn't need to drink like that anymore, so I just don't now, thankfully I was never chemically addicted to it or else I couldn't even have a small social drink at Xmas now. But alcohol abuse (the act) isn't necessarily the same as being an alcoholic (which is a condition).
    Had an actual nicotine addiction in my mid 20s though but I quit that cold turkey as they call it.

    I think what a lot of folk do is confuse cause with corrrelation.
    In my case the drink was a result of being homeless, not the homelessness a result of being a drinker. If the dole money could have made a deposit for a flat I guarantee it wouldn't have gone on alcohol. Well thankfully I shut the door on that chapter or my life over 15 yrs ago now. I've made quite the recovery for someone who didn't think they'd live to see their mid 20's or 30's.

  • I mean this is true but it ignores the bayesian factor. There are a lot more people period living indoors than on our streets.