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Told I'm gullible, infantilised and gaslit.

๐Ÿ Bees ๐Ÿ (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs

I have been told I'm gullible for giving homeless people money, but tbh I have a 9k motorcycle so I'm pretty sure I won't miss my spare change which is usually under £10 anyway. I feel gaslit tbh, I'm pretty sure I'm not gullible just that the NT who said this is scary level apathetic to the plight of other people.
But I am frequently made to feel this way as an autist, by being subject to language intended to make me feel like I'm some helpless child who can't speak up for myself or walk away from a bad situation, but tbh I have walked away from a narcissistic abuser, and I'm not afraid to, abrupt or politely as necessary, tell people to p*ss off.

Also I was homeless myself albeit very briefly, and tbh I consider it more an empathy thing, because once upon a time that very easily could have been me on the street.

Does anyone else experience this kind of infantilisation in adulthood just because we have autism?

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  • Tbh I have mixed feeling about this. I like to buy them food when I can. I’ve done enough work with the homeless to know many even a majority of beggars are involved in some kind of substance abuse. And would spend money on that before food or shelter.

    I can’t hand out shelter on the street but I can hand out food. So that’s my preference.

    that’s my personal position I know others differ. But there is nothing naive about having compassion for the homeless. There are plenty of genuine rough sleepers about and even the ones who aren’t are often in insecure housing. couch serfung  etc.

  • in reply to Peter

    Mind if I ask the practicalities of that? Do you say 'I'm going into such-and-such is there anything you'd like to eat/drink?' Or would you quickly hand them something pre-bought (sandwiches or chips or...?) taking a chance it's to their taste, they're not allergic etc.? 

  • in reply to Shardovan

    Usually the former. If I see someone begging or they approach me I might say 'I don't give out money but there is that shop / takeaway there I'll happily buy you something.' At that point some graciously accept. Some say they've already eaten and graciously decline. Others get pushy. Insist they must have money. A few have the cheek to ask you to buy them booze or cigarettes.

    I get it. food doesn't buy you a hotel room etc. But until there is a non transferable voucher I can hand out for rent I don't feel good handing out money when I know a large percentage of it will go on drugs / booze / tabaco.

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  • in reply to Shardovan

    Usually the former. If I see someone begging or they approach me I might say 'I don't give out money but there is that shop / takeaway there I'll happily buy you something.' At that point some graciously accept. Some say they've already eaten and graciously decline. Others get pushy. Insist they must have money. A few have the cheek to ask you to buy them booze or cigarettes.

    I get it. food doesn't buy you a hotel room etc. But until there is a non transferable voucher I can hand out for rent I don't feel good handing out money when I know a large percentage of it will go on drugs / booze / tabaco.

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