As an autistic how do YOU deal with rejection

Rejection has played a major role in my life since childhood. I've never really been able to satisfactorily cope with it.  I know it is partly due to my own social inabilities. As a true outsider when first settling here, I had experienced past rejection from two government organisations (NHS, and the Dept. Of Employment) the former almost costed me the loss of my wife and unborn child, while the latter had to be taken to court for discrimination (I won with compensation). As a child I was always the kid on the outside looking in which emotionally kind of prepared me for rejection, but not at governmental scale whilst married to an English pregnant wife.  I didn't realise my location -- I later came to learn --- was probably the most conservatively rigid locations in the UK. Over many following years I experienced total strangers who snubbed me owing to my New York accent!

I have developed many masks over many years in my pointless attempts at trying to fit in.  I have no social life.  Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.  I have been conditioned over many years to accept my lot and find some comfort being able to express myself here as compensation for my social inabilities to a degree. I'm curious to know how other autistics cope with rejection.

Parents
  • Over my life I've learned to avoid rejection by retreating inside my shell, tortoise like. The shell is extremely hard for anyone else to break through, even if they wanted to.

    If I don't apply for anything or ask for what I need or open up to anyone socially then I can't be rejected. Of course that strategy has left me out of work and incredibly socially isolated, so it is not necessarily one I would recommend.

    The opening lyrics of the Billy Joel song come to mind:

    Some people stay far away from the door
    If there's a chance of it opening up
    They hear a voice in the hall outside
    And hope that it just passes by

    Some people live with the fear of a touch
    And the anger of having been a fool
    They will not listen to anyone
    So nobody tells them a lie

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQCWY5ynBaw

Reply
  • Over my life I've learned to avoid rejection by retreating inside my shell, tortoise like. The shell is extremely hard for anyone else to break through, even if they wanted to.

    If I don't apply for anything or ask for what I need or open up to anyone socially then I can't be rejected. Of course that strategy has left me out of work and incredibly socially isolated, so it is not necessarily one I would recommend.

    The opening lyrics of the Billy Joel song come to mind:

    Some people stay far away from the door
    If there's a chance of it opening up
    They hear a voice in the hall outside
    And hope that it just passes by

    Some people live with the fear of a touch
    And the anger of having been a fool
    They will not listen to anyone
    So nobody tells them a lie

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQCWY5ynBaw

Children
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