Signs of burnout and needing support

Thank you for all your kind words everyone. You have all been such a comfort to me this week, reading these messages has really helped. 

Its been a lot this week, Im not gonna lie. I have had so much to learn at work as I have never been a full teacher before with marking and planning meetings etc and I have had bad migranes just from the strain of taking it all in. Most days I have not been able to get out of bed till 5 mins before I have to go to work just from feeling so overwhelmed at the thought of dealing with people all day and trying to understand everything. I have also developed a twitch in my left eye which I havnt had for a while

I have my dental operation tonight so very scared about that. I have only been able to get one of the two bad teeth done but its by far the worst one so hoping and praying the other one doesnt give me too much trouble. 

I have also found out yesterday that Im getting paid way less than I should be for this job and my agency have been screwing me and lying to me so thats not good

At the moment I feel like I am a bit more stable and calm than usual with it all but I dont know how long that will last. There is the fear of a breakdown around the corner potentially.

Thanks for all the support everyone it means a lot 

Yeh its really hard. Im used to just being a cover supervisor where I turn up, teach the lessons and go home. This is the first time ive had to be involved in planning and marking and all that stuff, its so much to learn and very overwhelming.

I’m very sorry to hear about your brother. 

Well done for organising the dentist!

I'm a teaching assistant so I know how hard you must be working.  Make sure that you do give yourself some down time when you can.

That sounds good!! So glad to hear it went well :) 

Sounds like first day wasn't too bad.

Today went quite well. I had a lot to do cos it was a training day plus I had to call the dentist to book the operations. Thankfully all went quite well .The kids are back in school tomorrow so is a bit more to do  (Im a teacher)

Thank you for thinking of me

Hope it's going ok for you today

I'm exhausted, most nights, as I do the Lion's Share of work after dark. Plus, my meds make me oversleep. I didn't get up, today, until HALF THREE.

I'm sorry you are struggling with the beginning of burnout- I am currently struggling with quite severe burnout and I know how difficult it is especially when trying to also perform at work and do a demanding job. It's so hard when your own needs clash with those of a job and needing to pay bills etc. 

Is there any way you can start the new job slightly later to give yourself a few more days to recover? Or can you plan in some recovery time for the weekend and upcoming weeks? I'm sure when you get to work on Tuesday you will go into work-mode and perform well but make sure you take care of yourself. It's ok to need a break. Also try to prioritise if you can (I'm very bad at this but wish I was better)- decide what is most important to you at moment (and also what will give you most satisfaction) and focus on that. Drop the rest and try to ban it from your mind maybe? to try and conserve energy and focus it where it is needed most. And maybe try to deliberately plan in down time. I often make the mistake that when I start to get burnt out I put even more effort into work and hyperfocus on that to distract myself from all my issues and somehow overcome my burnout... it works in the short term but in the long term it results in worse burnout and eventually collapse at least for me. You can do this. 

I don't experience autistic burnout because I am neurotypical (not autistic), but my late brother did as he suffered from autism and ADHD. He ended up being homeless and jobless and recently passed away at the early age of 27.

Sometimes. This is the best answer I can offer at the moment, as I think I’m sort of in a stage of burnout currently (and probably have been for a little while to be honest).

A lot of my ‘warning signs’ in the build up are to do with tiredness, lack of motivation, clumsiness, restlessness and the inability to ‘spin all of the plates’ that I’m usually able to. Whenever these things cluster together, alongside low self-esteem, I usually have to look at my circumstances and recognise that I’m heading towards burnout and that I need to do something to stop it (not a great phrasing, as stop it isn’t quite what I mean).

My current phase of burnout sort of snuck up on me recently though. The warning signs were hidden and so it was a bit of a shock when I just started to experience mini-meltdowns, sensory overload left right and centre and the negative self view that goes with it all for me. This one has been a bit like a surprise punch in the face with how sudden and direct it was. It wasn’t, I think, that the signals weren’t there, but with life being very different for me at the moment, I just didn’t pick up on them. I’m aware of where I am at at the moment, and of my reduced number of spoons, so am just trying to steadily recover and steer myself towards good health. Although, with work starting up again tomorrow, I’m a little concerned about whether or not I’ll be able to do this as effectively as I can. One step at a time though I suppose. Any step forward, no matter how small, is worthwhile and impactful in the end.

I thought I'd recovered from burnout but looking back really don't think I fully had. I'm used to masking heavily and often don't know properly how I feel. I would still see the wall and push through. 

Then I got ill. I still pushed through till my body said i couldnt. I'm wondering if I might not have been as ill if I'd not had the prolonged anxiety or stress over the years. I took several months off due to this illness. While still not physically better, the break has mostly mentally reset me. It might be you need a prolonged time off however we are all different. I'm not sure but I can say keep pushing leads to further burnout, especially if you are not fully recovered. Your other posts have mentioned you've had loads going on lately and now you are starting a new job so probably not feeling rested or raring to go. If you think it's going to happen again...you know yourself best. Have you talked to your other half about how you are feeling?

Writing something like 'Best of luck' seems so feeble in this context. I hope to goodness for very good news for you.

It's ok just a precaution to rule stuff out^^

I am sorry for you, Billy. I wish that you didn't have to start that job.

Luna said:

I've got a biopsy coming up

I wish I hadn't read that. :(

Aw Billy, I'm sorry you're feeling this. I'm sure you're do fab on Tuesday - sending positive vibes and keeping my fingers crossed for you. 

I find burnout for me doesn't really show warning signs but then I've got generalised anxiety disorder as well and I'm not great at working out what symptoms are what. I recognise I've burnout when I'm exhausted to extent I can't actually get out of bed - thankfully hasn't been like that for a while now x

The Autism Wall, my name for it ;) is that wall that's impossible to break through - sometimes it's passable and other times it's too high and wide to get past. 

I've got a biopsy coming up and anxious already about getting past the wall.

Hope Tuesday goes well for you xxx