• Replies 19 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 2762 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Established People Who Leave this Place

Deleted User

Some people seem to have remained in this place for many years and still pop-up in discussions from time to time. I would expect that to be the rule for these ‘elders’ of our community but I note that they are definitely the exceptions.

The vast majority of established contributors (by which I mean those with points in the tens-of-thousands) seem to ultimately disappear without a trace.

What happens to these people? Do they find it better to be away from this place when they have been thick within it for “too” long? Does the comfort and connection available here become toxic to personal growth? Does boredom creep in? Do they find it swallows too much of their time?

The optimistic side of me likes to think that they derived such tremendous advice, support, love and connection from this place that they transcended their wish to talk with others and have stormed the bastion of their NT environments, conquered all their demons and now live happily authentic and content autistic lives.

.....but I’d expect them to send a friendly postcard back to us 'young-uns' from time to time, with some encouragement that we can ultimately attain the same?

Does this unsolvable question bother anyone else out there?  Is "Plastic" still out there somewhere watching over this forum?!

Parents

  • Plastic sadly passed away, as did Remora. They are the only two I know have sadly passed. 

    Others I guess move on or life gets busy and they forget us - maybe one day that'll be us, too busy to be here?

    I hope they're ok and some come back. Would be great to see some older members back again :) 

  • in reply to Luna
    Luna said:
    maybe one day that'll be us, too busy to be here?

    OK, so this poses a question - if that were to happen to you, would you not still retain your "Luna" here.......disappear for ages.....and then pop back up when you had a spare few minutes to say hi or wanted to see how the place was / who was still around?   I'm very surprised that random "interventions" from folk who previously used to be very active here DON't happen.  I'm curious as to why not.

Reply
  • in reply to Luna
    Luna said:
    maybe one day that'll be us, too busy to be here?

    OK, so this poses a question - if that were to happen to you, would you not still retain your "Luna" here.......disappear for ages.....and then pop back up when you had a spare few minutes to say hi or wanted to see how the place was / who was still around?   I'm very surprised that random "interventions" from folk who previously used to be very active here DON't happen.  I'm curious as to why not.

Children
  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    That’s nice to hear, you’d be a very missed presence on here if it was permanent. I can see that you sort of ebb and flow but it’s comforting to think you’ll touch base now and then even if life gets busy or overwhelming. 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Since I joined last year, there have been occasions when I've been fairly active, interspersed with periods of zero activity. Right now, I find it hard to imagine that I might ever find myself wanting to permanently leave, particularly because there are members I feel I have established a rapport with... Members who have provided me with incredible kindness and support when I have really needed it. If my life was to ever become incredibly busy, I think I would still feel a need to pop my head in every once in a while to touch base with what was going on, how people were, etc.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I guess it's depending on what's happening in their lives. 

    For me personally, when I was struggling mentally and in the middle of depression I spent a good 8+ months away and didn't comment at all during that time. I wasn't enjoying life and didn't think to go online at all. It was a distressing time but when things improved I broke in gently and now I'm a regular :) 

    I'm in a fabulous place now, no mental problems at all - but if it did happen again I'm not sure if I'd think to keep in touch. When I'm struggling badly I can't focus on much else.

    I assume this is what others find as well? Just basing it of my own experiences here xxx

  • in reply to Shardovan

    In terms of my change of name from NAS 41486 to "Number", it was primarily to help others - (see Roy's comment below) and because various people here had specifically asked me to "Get a name" [better than being told to "Get a life"] in private chats.

    It has taken me ages to do so for two reasons; firstly, I'm horrendously stubborn - whether through choice or due to pathological demand avoidance; secondly, life has taught a weirdo like me that maximum anonymity is the safest way of keeping myself safe.

    I hope that answers your question.

  • in reply to Shardovan

    I've been around here since the summer.  When I started, I wasn't too interested in "talking" to people or becoming involved - I was FAR more interested in using the back catalogue of archived threads to answer a whole series of questions that were urgently overwhelming my mind regarding my own light-bulb realisation.

    Accordingly, I did do a lot of reading within old posts and became familiar with names.....ones that I was expecting to see pop-up when I started to get involved with the forum myself.

    PS - I judge how long someone has been around here by their "points" score that appears when I hover over their name.  Admittedly, this is a flawed approach because if someone was incredibly active, then they would get an over-inflated "points" to the time they have been around......but it's a good enough indicator for me.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    One question I have for you Number - your name change is recent I think? So I’m not sure when you joined. I’d assumed recently because of the number to name feeling like a decision to stick around.,But if so, how do you know about tens of thousands of posts from others? A deep dive in a short time or a calculation based on random sampling? 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Yes, while anyone has the right to do so, it does make me sad when lovely an unique voices you’ve come to know just disappear overnight never (?) to return. It’s comforting that a few constant presences do form a core constituency over time. I’m likely to be a little sporadic at times myself, but as a creature of habit and not wanting to feel too uniquely strange I can imagine not wanting to contnue coming here for solidarity, recognition, guidance, likeminded company, and  - if it’s ok to tentatively use the word- friendship.