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HELP! antisocial neighbour who is scary, and my other neighbour just snapped at me when trying to help her. did I do wrong?

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My neighbour is antisocial and has a criminal record, I am scared of him and my housing association gave me a rape alarm for when I am in the close in case he comes near me. He has been threatening to me and I have complained to housing and to police. other people in the close have had to phone the police to him a lot. 

There is a lady who lives on my floor, she must be around 30 years old, and he was knocking on her door a lot today and he seems to have locked him self out. he calls her "sweetheart" he has his own girlfriend. he was battering about the close and causing choas. When she opened the door to him it looked like he wanted into her house several times as he was at her door a lot. so I opened my door just as he was going down the stairs a little bit (he came back up again) and warned her that he could be dangerous and that I was issued a rape alarm as she is vulnerable too, if it were me I would want warned. Now I feel so upset that I should have kept my mouth shut?

She told me to "mind your own business" so I said "okay" and shut my door. I am in tears, and have had a panic attack. 

I was warning her to keep her safe. As I know that these people pretend to be friends and then they are at your door day and night. 

a few years ago there was a fire on one of the floors and I phoned the fire services and got everyone out, she was one of the people I saved. And yet she snapped at me today. She could have been nicer and have said "thanks "my name*, but I am okay thank you, I am friends with him" instead of getting horrible at me. 

I love my wee flat and now think I will have to save up to move, which means more antisocial people will get my flat. 

It will cost a fortune to move. 

I am in tears at what she said, I was only trying to help her. 

If the situation was reversed and someone went to warn me about a man, I would say "thank you" if I was not caring etc I would say " thank you I am okay, but thanks for looking out for me, but we are friends" 

But she really upset me. I feel shaky and will never speak to her ever again. 

Did I do the right thing warning her?

The housing told me he was a criminal, and they looked him up and sent me a rape alarm as a result!!!

I am also worried about going past her in the close in the future as it will be awkward, do I just turn my back to her or walk past her without saying anything. and not look at her? I am a friendly shy person and like to say hi to people , but will have to ignore her now. 

I usually keep myself to myself, but I feared that he would go into her house hurt her or just wreck her home or something. I was only trying to help. 

feel so shaken.  

 

Parents

  • thank you, I am so stressed,  when I first moved into my flat I invited her over for cake and tea, and we went out for coffee twice, I thought she was a friend. We seemed to get on well. 

    She did often say to me oh I will need to invite you to mine for tea but maybe in two weeks, she kept saying that to me all the time and it never happened. So I accepted that as being that she was more private and maybe only wanted close family or close friends into her flat, and that is just fine. So we went out for coffee. 

    I did not mind that the friendship faded away, that is fine if she is busy or has other people to be friends with. that happens, so i left it. 

    But to have this from her is so very upsetting. 

    She might have to learn the hard way, she maybe is feeling sorry for this guys stories, I know his type they end up at your door at all hours and one day they will make you feel scared as they will shout at you or worse. I was trying to save her from that. 

    still it is up to her. 

    But it was not nice doing that. Life is hard enough so she could have been polite. 

    He has been in and out of jail, and the police came to my door a few weeks ago asking about his girlfriend saying that there had been an event that took place in the close one night. I must have slept through it. next thing a week or so later his girlfriend returned using crutches. He goes outside at night and shouts. 

    I have only phoned the police just once on him. but others must have phoned the police as they have been up and down a lot. So he must have been causing chaos to others in the flats or elsewhere. 

Reply

  • thank you, I am so stressed,  when I first moved into my flat I invited her over for cake and tea, and we went out for coffee twice, I thought she was a friend. We seemed to get on well. 

    She did often say to me oh I will need to invite you to mine for tea but maybe in two weeks, she kept saying that to me all the time and it never happened. So I accepted that as being that she was more private and maybe only wanted close family or close friends into her flat, and that is just fine. So we went out for coffee. 

    I did not mind that the friendship faded away, that is fine if she is busy or has other people to be friends with. that happens, so i left it. 

    But to have this from her is so very upsetting. 

    She might have to learn the hard way, she maybe is feeling sorry for this guys stories, I know his type they end up at your door at all hours and one day they will make you feel scared as they will shout at you or worse. I was trying to save her from that. 

    still it is up to her. 

    But it was not nice doing that. Life is hard enough so she could have been polite. 

    He has been in and out of jail, and the police came to my door a few weeks ago asking about his girlfriend saying that there had been an event that took place in the close one night. I must have slept through it. next thing a week or so later his girlfriend returned using crutches. He goes outside at night and shouts. 

    I have only phoned the police just once on him. but others must have phoned the police as they have been up and down a lot. So he must have been causing chaos to others in the flats or elsewhere. 

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