Pretty sure all marriages with kids have that rough couple of years so you have to be very careful about ascribing diagnostic terms which can hold a lot of stigma onto another person just because you don't like their behaviour. My advice is go seek a marriage counselor first before relying on anyone's unqualified opinions re: is your wife who none of us have ever personally interacted with autistc. (Because honestly we can only only tell you if our experiences resonate, and it's a wide spectrum so you could get loads of answers that just feed into a confirmation bias. And that is not reliable, we cannot diagnose your wife any more than you can.) If the marriage counselor thinks something is up then maybe they as a 3rd party can say something and see if your wife wants to get tested.
