Published on 12, July, 2020
I have gotten to the point now where my course is all I think about, I’m doing pretty well I’ve never been a straight A student so getting high Bs are something I’m very proud of. My family are always saying how proud they are of me however university is consuming my life. I’m obsessed with the subject I’m studying as it’s always pretty much been my special interest, I’m always talking about it but it’s gotten to the point where I’m obsessed with very specific area within my studies and I’ve grown accustomed to one of my tutors because of this, I hate it because he is so nice and lets me do a load of extra work with him but because I’m spending so much time work on a project and with him it’s becoming all I’m talking about and I can’t stop. Once I’m in a social situation I have no control. I honestly don’t know how to switch off. Pretty sure the whole campus knows I have a thing for him and wouldn’t be surprised if he knew as I’m even doing extra classes with him as well as working on said project, he even offered to take me out for some work experience. I want to stop thinking about him but he is a world famous specialist and pretty hard to find a better person in his field and I really want to do a masters or PHD in his area but I’m also worried I’ll burn myself out.
As autistic, some of us will have specific interest, as you describe well. I am obsessed with playing music and tree species. These obsessions help me and make me feel better, normal or myself, I guess. This is not what NT understand. We want to share these and talk about these subjects until the end of times but they don’t get it. for me, as I am highly functional, I learn a lot of psychology to try to find out what was different about me. Obviously it didn’t apply because it was NT behaviour study, not really for ASD…. But….
is it possible you’re mixing the love of your studies, specific ones as you mention above, with the feelings you might have…. Is it sort of over spilling? If you see what I mean?
as per being obsessive, there’s nothing wrong with that…. That’s what we do…. I would embrace it…
Hope that helps