Creative work

Yes I think having your own routine at home is really important, so you dont get lost in the day. Its hard to do though

I relate, uni was fine but then 9 to 5 destroyed me in many ways. I don't have a strict routine although I will be on youtube watching interesting videos most days, so that is my own pattern that I tend to do. oh and brush my teeth and wash off course 

I struggle with routine; big time. My life lacked structure; after I graduated from Uni. And, then, my life went upside down.

I think I am in a more or less constant shutdown, I can only deal with people on occasion.  

Yes thats what i want to do, work from home as a writer. Working for bosses and figuring out how to meet expectations that dont make sense to me or seem necessary to me plus non stop socialising and dealing with people all day is too much

We are better to do things on own and on own terms. I can't work I burnout cry and meltdown and I had to hide in the loo, and they did not like it as I would be in there for like an hour in tears. it is too stressful for me. I think it might be better if you can and are able to do something from home be your own boss, if you can. 

Thats a good idea. My mom always used to read People's Friend and stuff like that and Ive always thought maybe I could write for them cos Im good at stories. I will buy a copy today

May I very respectfully ask a personal question of you.......are you ADHD in addition to your autistic foundation?

Start reading some magazines / online venues that publish short stories. When you find one you enjoy, write something that seems like a good fit and send it in. Most have detailed submissions guidelines on their websites. Expect to get a lot of rejections at first!

A lot of your experiences sound like mine. I have been bullied at work and fired or made redundant several times. I have had meltdowns or breakdowns because of work my whole life. 

Ive done many years of agency work too, I think for similar reasons to you plus its less scary cos I dont feel trapped in a permanent job, its easier to get out of or change if I have a breakdown or get too overwhelmed. Although recruitment agents are terrible for pressuring you into things you dont want to do, did that ever happen to you? 

I know waht you mean about the social interaction too, its the fact that its all day every day, there isnt a break, its too much. Especially when your trying to meet lots of expectations you dont understand from bosses.

What you do with your time now sounds lovely, especially the making seashell sculptures and things. I would love to see some  

Oakling said:

I also struggle with 5 days, as 2 days to switch off isn’t even enough to get into that new mindset of relaxing! By the time I have, I’m back at work!

Thats exactly how I feel! Saturday is spent recovering from work and Sunday spent dreading going back

Its interesting, a lot of European countries are starting to experiment with a 4 day working week as they are starting to realise how much it helps peoples mental health and work life balance. And people who have better mental health and are happier work better. I think Holland has just moved to an official 4 day working week.

Sadly, a lot of our European neighbours are a bit more enlightened than the UK

Short stories for magazines is something I have considered, how do you get into that?

Im glad you can support yourself working from home, I know it might not be the most creative thing but I think its great that you have been able to do that 

I think thats what I need, something that gives me a balanced night rather than something I go to bed every night feeling afraid whether ill be able to do it tomorrow 

out_of_step said:

There's something completely unnatural about being shocked awake every morning by an alarm. Is it any wonder people start the day on high alert

Thats a very good point. I never thought of it like that but it is unnatural, your right. 

I have the same problem as you. Freelance writing seems to require a lot of self promotion which, as an autistic person, isnt my strength. It also requires a lot of what people call "networking" which involves a lot of social skills I dont have, particularly on social media 

Good luck with your novel. I have been working on mine since 2019 but havnt written in it for about 9 months, Im thinking of starting it up again 

I have a really strong desire to be a writer and do all sorts of other creative things as well, but I think my perspective on "externally imposed routines vs doing what you enjoy" is a bit more complicated. I've had a keen interest in film and filmmaking since I was a kid, and I chose to pursue it academically all the way to a postgraduate level because I wanted to study something that I would enjoy. In practice, however, I struggled immensely with the same pressures I'd always had in education - keeping up with the workload each week and handing in coursework on time.

I think from a young age I developed a very perfectionist, people-pleasing mindset as a response to the demands of school work. I felt absolutely devastated every time I received disapproval from a teacher, so I quickly learnt to prioritise my academic performance over my own wellbeing. When the option to study something I had an interest in (i.e. film) became available, I thought that would solve my problems - but while there was so much that I enjoyed about studying film, because it was in broadly the same educational environment those problems never really went away. Even at uni, where in theory I had more agency as an adult and more of a peer relationship with my tutors, I maintained the same attitude I had towards my teachers at school - feeling rewarded by praise for my work, but by the same token dreading the possibility of disappointing them, and contorting myself into inhuman shapes in a desperate attempt to avoid this.

I finally reached the point, in the middle of writing/producing/directing/editing my MA dissertation short film during the Covid pandemic, where I got so overwhelmed with stress that I had to take a break from my studies. I managed to complete the film to a high standard when I returned to it, and graduated with a Distinction, which I'm very happy with. However, although I've had ideas for loads of different creative projects since then, I've found it almost impossible to commit myself to any of them without being more or less forced to by something external like a deadline. I've internalised this mentality of constantly having to meet other people's expectations (real or perceived) that I don't know how to function without it - I don't know how to do anything under my own steam. Sometimes I feel like I'd rather be doing a boring 9-to-5 job because then at least I'd be doing something, even something I'd hate, rather than failing to do my own thing and remaining inert.

I just think that way, at least something is predictable and reliable even if the work itself isn’t. It’s nice to see that you were able to move to 4 days- I genuinely believe a lot of people could really benefit from that arrangement. I hope it’s working for you.

I am like you I like the routine of work too. I was able to drop to 4 days and I often find I am exhausted and ready for a break on the fourth day.

Next year I should get my first taste of work which I'm both excited and nervous about - I used to struggle with how long school was so I think a 9-5 job would be too much.

The job I'm hoping to do is a nursery and I think the hours are 8-1 or something like that, so it should be a lot easier for me.

But like you I love writing and would much more prefer an at home job.