Hi - I am dating an Autistic guy in his early twenties - we are ten years apart and I came here for help because I am not sure what to do. He only briefly mentioned his diagnosis on our second date and I havent felt he's comfortable discussing further and so I never know if some of his behavior is on account of that diagnosis or just who he is (on the spectrum or not).
For one, he seems very rigid in his way of thinking - whenever I suggest something, he will say "that won't work" without offering an alternative until I continually offer my own suggestions and he accepts one. It makes me feel like he's not interested in spending time together - but then he does accept a suggestion eventually so I don't get it?
Our BIGGEST issues are these strange and unflinching beliefs he has that aren't even true about relationships. From our third date onward, its been discussions about whether I can get pregnant in 5 years (I am in my early thirties and have no fertility issues what so ever - I even had some tests that put me on par with women in their mid twenties) + I have frozen my eggs with a benefit from work. But no matter what I say, he continually suggests I cannot conceive kids in 5 years and so we will never work. It's very hurtful and insulting - calling me infertile and even when he's presented with facts proving I am not, he just continues with his beliefs that I can't have kids. Even the way he discusses his want to have them in 5 years as if it's all up to him and not as a couple deciding. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I am unfit to be his wife - and were not even at the point of discussing marriage! I don't know if this is just him or how his brain works and wanted some advice.
He also makes these random insulting comments like saying my headshot on linkedin looks like a mug shot and when I mention it hurts my feelings he says "Sorry I just felt I need to be honest with you"
Another HUGE problem is when we discuss an emotional topic - sometimes im not done speaking about it but he will insist "we already talked about it. we did it" and will refuse to re-engage with me at all on it, even if I ask multiple times to continue - he just stonewalls me with "we already did it".
Many thanks in advance.
