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It’s only Christmas Eve and I already am stressed

NAS82328

Hi guys , 

I am feeling very stressed, upset , anxious already and it’s only Christmas Eve . The family don’t seem to be accepting . There already so much noise so much shouting and taking .  I can’t sit in my normal place in my own home. Then they all voted on the take away I don’t really eat what they all wanted and was told I had to put up with the group choice . I don’t like the food as it gives me a bad stomach . I told my mother what I would eat as a compromise very specific. The takeaway arrive they order what I asked for as part of a mixed starter … so I only got a mouthful of what I asked for . Then I only eat veg version of a dish and they ordered  it with chicken I tried picking out the veg. I got shouted at and told I can organise it next year . 
They all don’t get it and say I ruin Christmas with my grumpiness 

  • Hi guys thanks for you support it’s nice not to feel so alone . Yesterday evening got better I have to say we all sat down to watch a film and the noise died down . Today hasn’t been too bad it got a bit much after a few hours this morning so I made the excuses I need to walk the dogs and later again said I was changing for lunch .

    Whilst it’s never the best experience Christmas dinner it wasn’t bad . No major issues . Until this evening I was sat in one room watching the TV with 3 other whilst the rest were watching something in a different room . Firstly when I went to the toilet my grandmother took my seat which she knew I was sitting in as I always sit there and had been for a few hours. She claimed she always sits there to see the TV it makes no difference to see the TV in another chairs . My mum knows I sit there as I don’t like being next to people when everyone’s around so she swapped with me so basically I was sat next to here on an end . I didn’t move my stuff ie drinks, snacks or sweets (a few wrappers)  I had been eating at the side of my chair . As they were watching a TV program .

    I went upstairs to get changed I could hear my grandmother downstairs calling me scruffy, untidy and lazy . There’s been a few comments all day for the odd persons mainly this morning about  how many gifts I got etc . But This one really upset me, made me anxious and a little teary . I text my mum to ask why she was being like that . She replied with she talking  about you not clearing the table at the side of your chair . I heard my mum say why are you being like that you know she has a lot on and you took her seat . She went oh she always the same and doesn’t do anything expects everyone to run round for her. 

    I am so surprised as I have made the Christmas cake from scratch which have been feeding for over 8 weeks and then I spent hours decorating yesterday, I did the starters this for lunch two types as grandmother along with two other don’t eat prawns ! Oh and I also did breakfast for 3 as I don’t eat what the adults have but would eat something the “kids” eat so made there’s too.

    She knows I have a lot on I have only been able to have 24-26th off from uni work so this isn’t enjoyable . Currently sat crying in my room because I have enough stress never mind my family hating me . 

    My mums trying to be supportive and says we will go away next year as we used to when I was a early teen as it was to stressful . She keeps trying to get me down stairs .

    I think tomorrow I am gonna do some uni work am lock myself in the office . As they wake up and become noisy I will take the dogs for a few hour walk and then go to another relations as they are away and happy for me to use the spare key to do work if needed . 

  • I'll have Christmas Dinner with an old Neighbour; then Boxing Day Dinner with my current Neighbour.

    Wouldn't stay too long.

  • Hi, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this... it is very inconsiderate of the other people to act in this way. If you have to have a group takeout again, maybe you could just order takeaway from a different place for yourself whilst the group orders what they want? That way you can eat what you feel comfortable with and so could everyone else? Also I find people often understand better if you give digestive issues as the main reason for not being able to have a certain food or needing to order own/bring own food- I think maybe they can relate to that a bit more... no idea. I hope the rest of the evening is going a bit better!! 

  • I hope everything settles down and your Christmas is anxiety free and relaxed.

    I've got my step sisters family here tonight until the 28th :/ it's ok but I will be happier when life returns to normal again. 

  • It’s a bit of a busier environment here too and is taking quite a bit of adjustment from me at the moment. Nothing like the situation you have described though, so I sympathise. Like The Commander suggests, if I’ve understood correctly, stepping away to a controlled and calmer space to reset and reenergise is something that can work well. In my personal experience anyway. It’s what I’ve been doing today and will most definitely need to do tomorrow when it’s even busier and louder.

  • Wow I know those feelings well. I used to find an escape to solitude to calm my brain. I wish you well, please try to have a peaceful and happy Christmas