We have established that my son can feel loved by me saying it in words but he doesn't feel anything if you try to give him a hug. He says he feels like that if he can't even feel that emotion with his own mother then he is doubtful he will feel it with anyone else ie why should he bother to make friends when he doesn't feel anything. I noticed him stroking his dog and saw what looked to me like a exchange of affection and I thought how maybe it's easier for him to feel that love with an animal as opposed to a person..I say this as I'd watched a true film about a boy with aspergers who could not connect with the mother but made a connection bond with a whale and this was because to do with the fact they emit some kind of frequency in noise. At this point I would do anything to be able to share that love with my son which I have always felt for him but he has never been able to have that common ability to feel it back and it breaks my heart because realy that's all that realy is and above all else the most wonderfull thing to feel as a human being is loved. I'd like to say to him let's go swimming with dolphins or horse riding in the hopes this could be the same for my son what it was for the boy in the film ..but he would like turn round to me and say no i won't do that why would I go and do that etc..ie its very difficult to get him to be open to these things. He says he does not feel any kind of emotion when he's hugged etc it sounds like nothing but it realy isn't nothing as its actually heartbreaking that he can't have the most common thing in this world which is love. I'm annoyed at system as he was diagnosed late and whole thing was a sh#! show he never got help he needed and if I'd have known this in his infancy I would have been able to introduce ideas to him as he'd have been more open to it whereas now its too late he is 22.
