Does anyone know how to protect there cognitive and physical space to lower stress from others ?
Does anyone know how to protect there cognitive and physical space to lower stress from others ?
IntenseWorld said:[quote]Does anyone know how to protect there cognitive and physical space to lower stress from others?[/quote]
Yes. When in a group of people do not make eye contact. Read a book/magazine, or look really interested in your mobile phone (play a game on it if you have to). I have realised that NTs feel the urge to make small talk just to pass the time of day even though it serves no useful purpose. Do not even look in peoples' general direction and don't day dream or look wistful as they seem to take that as an invitation to talk.
When in a queue I always have my shoulder bag sticking as far out behind me as possible as I get incredibly stressed when people stand too close or brush against me. Likewise I stand as far back as I reasonably can (whilst still making it look like I am part of the queue) from the person in front of me. If they shuffle backwards I do too.
When you go into a waiting room, where possible choose a seat with empty other ones around it. This is difficult because NTs will often come and sit either right next to you or with one seat space in-between so you cannot always avoid it.
If you get on a bus/train, if possible sit on the outside empty seat alongside another empty one. If the bus/train gets full you may have no choice but to move over but if you have no qualms about making yourself look a bit weird people will avoid you anyway. So you could rock or stim to dissuade them as they will usually avoid you like the plague if you don't appear normal.
When making GP appointments try to make them at the quietest time possible, preferably last one of the day and you will hopefully get an empty waiting area.
Go to the supermarket at the most unsociable hours you can or better still order shopping online. Order clothes online too. If cost is an option you can use eBay to get bargains and shop during sales on other sites.
Work (if you do) is tougher, all I can suggest is choosing work that enables you to work as solitary as possible or ask for reasonable adjustments.
When I am not working, I dislike small talk with strangers, as I am useless at small talk. However, if I have something in common with them, such as we like the same music band or are shopping for the same geeky merchandise in Forbidden Planet, etc, then I feel I can make small talk as I have something in common. As I own a Samsung Galaxy S3 smartphone, I am usually absorbed by it when on a bus and tend not to get too distracted by those around me.
I do work full time and do voluntary work for charity at weekends, which does require me to communicate with others. But I don't mind as that is work. When I am not working, I can be myself.
At my paid employment, I man a reception desk which does mean I meet and greet people when they arrive, but when nobody is in reception, I am on my own.
I hate shopping for clothes and boots; not because of the social contact, but because I utterly hate the task! I find it such a chore and a bore! I do like shopping for hobby-related things, such as tabletop RPG books, Doctor Who merchandise, and other geeky-related stuff from my favourite geeky shops in London.
I go to gigs in London, but I try to get to the venue early so that I can either be first in the queue or not far from the front. I can then get in, buy some band merchandise, and find a suitable place to stand before it gets too overcrowded.
When in London, I try to avoid the chuggers! Outside music venues, I have on ocassions found myself faced with some people with evident social or mental health problems. (Maybe I act as a magnet!?) I have had beggers, a newly released prisoner, a very stoned ticket tout, drunks, and an old bag lady approach me outside London music venues; I confused the latter by speaking French!
I am not adverse to being around strangers; I am just no good at small talk, either starting it or keeping it going. Therefore, unless I want to speak, I try to avoid small talk and strangers starting conversations.
IntenseWorld said:[quote]Does anyone know how to protect there cognitive and physical space to lower stress from others?[/quote]
Yes. When in a group of people do not make eye contact. Read a book/magazine, or look really interested in your mobile phone (play a game on it if you have to). I have realised that NTs feel the urge to make small talk just to pass the time of day even though it serves no useful purpose. Do not even look in peoples' general direction and don't day dream or look wistful as they seem to take that as an invitation to talk.
When in a queue I always have my shoulder bag sticking as far out behind me as possible as I get incredibly stressed when people stand too close or brush against me. Likewise I stand as far back as I reasonably can (whilst still making it look like I am part of the queue) from the person in front of me. If they shuffle backwards I do too.
When you go into a waiting room, where possible choose a seat with empty other ones around it. This is difficult because NTs will often come and sit either right next to you or with one seat space in-between so you cannot always avoid it.
If you get on a bus/train, if possible sit on the outside empty seat alongside another empty one. If the bus/train gets full you may have no choice but to move over but if you have no qualms about making yourself look a bit weird people will avoid you anyway. So you could rock or stim to dissuade them as they will usually avoid you like the plague if you don't appear normal.
When making GP appointments try to make them at the quietest time possible, preferably last one of the day and you will hopefully get an empty waiting area.
Go to the supermarket at the most unsociable hours you can or better still order shopping online. Order clothes online too. If cost is an option you can use eBay to get bargains and shop during sales on other sites.
Work (if you do) is tougher, all I can suggest is choosing work that enables you to work as solitary as possible or ask for reasonable adjustments.
When I am not working, I dislike small talk with strangers, as I am useless at small talk. However, if I have something in common with them, such as we like the same music band or are shopping for the same geeky merchandise in Forbidden Planet, etc, then I feel I can make small talk as I have something in common. As I own a Samsung Galaxy S3 smartphone, I am usually absorbed by it when on a bus and tend not to get too distracted by those around me.
I do work full time and do voluntary work for charity at weekends, which does require me to communicate with others. But I don't mind as that is work. When I am not working, I can be myself.
At my paid employment, I man a reception desk which does mean I meet and greet people when they arrive, but when nobody is in reception, I am on my own.
I hate shopping for clothes and boots; not because of the social contact, but because I utterly hate the task! I find it such a chore and a bore! I do like shopping for hobby-related things, such as tabletop RPG books, Doctor Who merchandise, and other geeky-related stuff from my favourite geeky shops in London.
I go to gigs in London, but I try to get to the venue early so that I can either be first in the queue or not far from the front. I can then get in, buy some band merchandise, and find a suitable place to stand before it gets too overcrowded.
When in London, I try to avoid the chuggers! Outside music venues, I have on ocassions found myself faced with some people with evident social or mental health problems. (Maybe I act as a magnet!?) I have had beggers, a newly released prisoner, a very stoned ticket tout, drunks, and an old bag lady approach me outside London music venues; I confused the latter by speaking French!
I am not adverse to being around strangers; I am just no good at small talk, either starting it or keeping it going. Therefore, unless I want to speak, I try to avoid small talk and strangers starting conversations.
