Published on 12, July, 2020
I've recently been diagnosed with high functioning autism. I am a retired electro/mechanical technician who has served in a number of industries here and abroad as well as the military, so my experiences are wide but always were in connection with positions where operational tasks could be performed alone. I am looking for an adult group I can continue to try to assimilate into as fitting into a group has been a trial for me since childhood. Added to my "oddness" is my American accent having been raised in New York City. This instantly has put me on a weak footing to be warmly welcomed and engaged with, complemented by my own "standoffishness" that has become my deeply ingrained defence mechanism here in Norfolk/Suffolk, a very conservative region where I have lived since 1971. Over this time, I have experienced repetitive failed attempts to engage with social groups. This includes negative outcomes with the U3A, Odd Fellows, and Lions where one "gentleman" who originated in Vietnam, stated he has had great pleasure in killing Americans during that conflict. So, --- my question to you is am I destined to die a misfit, or do you think there may be some salvation for me through a suitable adult group I can feel at ease with supported by the knowledge they are just as odd as I am or, am I to continue on this lonely path of social rejection.
Good afternoon NAS83898. I have only ever really felt part of an "adult group" through work.....and then NT hierarchical factors always somewhat spoil the potential for genuine community connection. I do not intend to retire because of this connection that it offers to me. I am extremely comfortable interacting with others when we have a shared common interest and I have special expertise and competencies in that interest so that I can help.
The "gentleman" whom you mention above is a sad and small minded little hick - give him no more thought apart from pity if you can muster that.
In the meanwhile, I can report that this place is a community of adults with whom I feel a great deal of connection. OK, so it is not "in person" but it is most definitely "interpersonal" in terms of the connections. This place is of great value to me.
99% of the time everything is friendly and calm. I like that very much..... although someone will inevitably challenge you on the use of "high functioning" and "with" in terms of autism.
You are very welcome here and I hope you will stick around to share more of your (inevitably) interesting life to date.
Kind regards
Thanks for the welcoming. One has to be careful with interpersonal connections over the internet. Part of my NYC upbringing that remains with me is a high order of self-preservation from that environment where one must always inwardly ask oneself "what's this guy after". I know I left the "Big Apple" a long time ago, but old habits die hard, and I find it extremely difficult to let my guard down to relax enough. Yes, I plan to stick around a bit more and hopefully learn to relax more --- always with due diligence!
I've always been a "hands on" practical guy.