today as much as I hate to admit it my suicidal feeling got the worse cause of the meeting I had with this guy from college named [name removed by moderator]. To make stories short let me tell you guys here. 1. I might do suicide next week but not now because I have my exam in ESOL next week. (PS. ESOL IS ENGLISH FOR SPEAKERS OF OTHER LANGUAGES) and ok this is what [name removed by moderator]this guy said to me I should phone my mh team and not [name removed by moderator](this person in my ESOL in college) and not ever talk to [name removed by moderator] ever again( yeah now I know that I should email all them separately from now on. I told [name removed by moderator](she's my mentor in college) that I need someone who can help me or understand me and completely erase my suicidal thoughts and someone who can help me with my sleep and that's when I phoned my MH team and GP about this. [name removed by moderator](HEAD TEACHER AND RETIRED TEACHER) yesterday were telling me not to rely on people to help me and help myself and also think less about suicide [Edited by Moderator] people dk what I'm going through rn wish Allah kill me today or I die. Even after talking to my MH team I still don't feel better and want to die. also now I have these people: [name removed by moderator] and now a money management team and advocacy( I can't manage my money and um advocacy is like um people who can tell my family and express my views and stuff I can't phrase) yeah [name removed by moderator]did this and I now lost 3 people who don't talk to me anymore. [name removed by moderator](other people too who I got attached to). [Edited by Moderator] PEOPLE. Namely, this is all happened and I might be in college until my GP phone maybe 4 pm now it's 15:17 pm rn. And I'm tired. REALLY HOPE I DIE TODAY.
