the meeting went well

today as much as I hate to admit it my suicidal feeling got the worse cause of the meeting I had with this guy from college named [name removed by moderator]. To make stories short let me tell you guys here. 1. I might do suicide next week but not now because I have my exam in ESOL next week. (PS. ESOL IS ENGLISH FOR SPEAKERS OF OTHER LANGUAGES)  and ok this is what [name removed by moderator]this guy said to me I should phone my mh team and not [name removed by moderator](this person in my ESOL in college) and not ever talk to [name removed by moderator] ever again( yeah now I know that I should email all them separately from now on. I told [name removed by moderator](she's my mentor in college) that I need someone who can help me or understand me and completely erase my suicidal thoughts and someone who can help me with my sleep and that's when I phoned my MH team and GP about this. [name removed by moderator](HEAD TEACHER AND RETIRED TEACHER) yesterday were telling me not to rely on people to help me and help myself and also think less about suicide [Edited by Moderator] people dk what I'm going through rn wish Allah kill me today or I die. Even after talking to my MH team I still don't feel better and want to die. also now I have these people: [name removed by moderator] and now a money management team and advocacy( I can't manage my money and um advocacy is like um people who can tell my family and express my views and stuff I can't phrase) yeah [name removed by moderator]did this and I now lost 3 people who don't talk to me anymore. [name removed by moderator](other people too who I got attached to). [Edited by Moderator] PEOPLE. Namely, this is all happened and I might be in college until my GP phone maybe 4 pm now it's 15:17 pm rn. And I'm tired. REALLY HOPE I DIE TODAY. 

  • Hang in there. When you get to the bottom of what's triggering it, it will get better. That might be difficult to see now, but it won't always feel this way.

  • hi i did talk to my mh team samaritans and my GP i still feel suicidal but thanks

  • Hi , I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.  We know you're seeking help, but please do refer to the useful information below.

    If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support. 

    If it’s outside your GP hours call  111 to reach the NHS 111 service: 

    https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/.

    The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org. 

    MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.  

    If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support. 

    You can find more information here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide.

    I really hope this helps.

    With best wishes,

    Anna Mod

  • Yes, I've also learned to my cost that when neurotypical people ask how you are, they don't necessarily want a truthful answer.  We are also encouraged to talk about these kinds of feeling these days, but who do you tell them to if no one is listening when you do?  I know.  It's confusing.

    But it sounds like they have opened somethings that might be helpful.  I hope they are for you.

    A word of advice though, don't name the people you are dealing with because this is a public forum.  We need to protect their privacy, is all.  Just give their roles.  Meanwhile we are here if there are different aspects to this you want to talk about.  Hope this feeling passes for you.  I've been there with a couple of things.