Published on 12, July, 2020
These questions presented themselves from within the recent tread about new users not responding to our writings or advice (originated within ‘Anybody need some advice from the voice of reason ?)
“Ghosting” is when someone just doesn’t respond to you at all despite you fully expecting them to do so, in any event. I would distinguish "ghosting" from blocking or outright ignoring someone. I would equate the feeling of "ghosting" to feeling like you have been overtly given the advice to "take the hint, mate."
I hate the experience…..SO many unanswered questions...and you should be polite and not push for an explanation? Right??
There was a friend I had kept in touch with for a good few years after leaving school, but then we lost touch. When Facebook came along, she tracked me down. In addition to maintaining contact via Facebook and e-mail, we would occasionally meet up. Anyway, she then became unwell, which resulted in her spiraling into depression. Suddenly, there was silence. She had gotten rid of a blog, was no longer active on Facebook, and had also stopped e-mailing. None of our mutual friends had heard from her either.
During the course of the next 12 months or so, I would send occasional letters enquiring how she was and just letting her know that I was thinking of her. I can remember checking her local newspaper, just in case something untoward had happened to her. Approximately a decade later, I still find myself wondering if she is OK.
That doesn't sound very nice for you at all, the not knowing after so long. It was lovely of you to keep sending those thoughtful letters, even when they weren't being responded too. You're a wonderful friend.
I'm reminded a bit of my mum and her checking up to a couple of friends, one she had known since childhood, who aren't very well at the moment.
It can take its toll. Coming from a big Asian family, it feels like there are so many people (for her) to keep in touch with. She was always told to "do the right thing" as a kid/adult.
I've kept myself out of family whatsapp groups - and often off of WhatsApp altogether! (I've had to download it on trips abroad to communicate with locals; or, as happened last year, when an accommodation situation in Spain turned awry and I was without a place to stay for a few days (a not-cheap hotel was a short-term solution).
I feel much happier just having a handful of folks to communicate/meet up with from time to time, without having to "keep in touch" with everyone.
Your description of the loss above is more "loosing touch" rather than ghosting?
If you knew where she was and how to get hold of her - but got no response = possible ghosting.