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Such a disappointing person..

Noon..

Hello, I'm sorry for this unprofessional discussion.

  • In the year 2018, I was diagnosed. I cried because it wasn't a disease that could be cured. It was a problem that I had to fix, but fixing broken things does not restore them to their original functionality. My hobby is repairing things. I am fascinated by science. Understanding how things work and what's at the heart of everything..Creating things from another things..
  • I despise failing in front of someone I truly respect. I'll call myself a fighter until I perfect all of my skills. But I still require some time.
  • No one understands what I say, which causes uncomfortable situations and bothers me, so I have to repeat myself several times to ensure that the person beside me understands what I am saying.

Aisha Teacher is the name of the person I now actually respect. I'm not sure why I respected her in the first place, but I believe it was because she has a good observation, not perfect but good. Finally, after disappointing her three times, I melted down. Shame on me. I failed the writing exam yesterday because the exam requires a lot of imagination, such as creating VMware inside your head to generate a new system into another system without having the ISO for the new system. I had a nervous breakdown. I'm disappointed myself again. My mum thought my silence caused because of the fact that i can't face the world.. But still hypothesis she can't prove it..

Parents

  • Noon,

    A piece of advice I have always found to be helpful probably can apply to you here and now.......

    "Analyse and de-construct, then rebuild."

    You have obviously just experienced an upsetting event and I am sorry for you about that.  I have no idea what underpins this upset, but it is worth looking at the fundamental forces at play that have led you to this feeling.

    In recent times, I have been able to realise that the "causes" and "triggers" of some of my upsetting times / events have actually been grounded in areas that I did not think were so.  It is not worth dwelling in the past - but it is worth learning from it before you move on.

    In particular, I think you might want to look very carefully at one of the issues you mention above - which I also have problems with - 

    Noon.. said:
    No one understands what I say, which causes uncomfortable situations and bothers me, so I have to repeat myself several times to ensure

    Personally, I have found that repeating myself can compound the complexity (and perplexity for NTs) so I try to choose my initial words / attempt very carefully.  It that doesn't "hit the spot" of understanding, I try to move on and wait for another opportunity to arise where I can try again.  I also notice that waiting for an actual "question" directed at you is the MOST efficient way to convey important information.

    More generally - don't panic Noon.  We all have a mix of fortunes - there is always tomorrow to improve.

    Best wishes.

Reply

  • Noon,

    A piece of advice I have always found to be helpful probably can apply to you here and now.......

    "Analyse and de-construct, then rebuild."

    You have obviously just experienced an upsetting event and I am sorry for you about that.  I have no idea what underpins this upset, but it is worth looking at the fundamental forces at play that have led you to this feeling.

    In recent times, I have been able to realise that the "causes" and "triggers" of some of my upsetting times / events have actually been grounded in areas that I did not think were so.  It is not worth dwelling in the past - but it is worth learning from it before you move on.

    In particular, I think you might want to look very carefully at one of the issues you mention above - which I also have problems with - 

    Noon.. said:
    No one understands what I say, which causes uncomfortable situations and bothers me, so I have to repeat myself several times to ensure

    Personally, I have found that repeating myself can compound the complexity (and perplexity for NTs) so I try to choose my initial words / attempt very carefully.  It that doesn't "hit the spot" of understanding, I try to move on and wait for another opportunity to arise where I can try again.  I also notice that waiting for an actual "question" directed at you is the MOST efficient way to convey important information.

    More generally - don't panic Noon.  We all have a mix of fortunes - there is always tomorrow to improve.

    Best wishes.

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