Violence, beliefs, desperate parent

My son is 19yrs old, ASD, awaiting ADHD assessment and has PDA traits. His is aggressive and violent. Most recently attacking me and needing to be restrained by his father during an initial assessment with the Complex Autism Team. He would have hurt the staff present in the room. This is all because he didn't want to sign the consent form, because he didn't agree with the team sharing any safeguarding issues, should they arise during discussions. Four months we waited for this meeting, now that's another team that won't deal with him. He believes that there is a higher power controlling the government, but when pressed, has no substance to back up or prove these ridiculous theories. He is determined to break rules he believes are wrong, rules that allow us to live in a safe society. I am desperate. We can't go on or he will eventually hurt one of us or worse. I'm sick of him looking at crap on the internet that seems to suck in people with vulnerabilities like his. But I can't stop him accessing it, his PC is his only enjoyment. I don't know what I'm asking, but this is my life with him, one of control and fear, of hiding the bruises he inflicts, and then providing the love and care he needs after one of these episodes. One day I won't be here anymore, be it at his hands or my own or age. I can't see him ever moving on a having a normal life. He seems determined to make things as hard as possible for himself, and we're expected to just suffer it all, as he constantly maintains it's not his fault and there's nothing he can do. Can anyone please offer me any help, advice or hope because I am seriously losing the will to fight or stand up for him anymore. Being Autistic doesn't give anyone the right to behave in the way he does, but he seems to think it does and that he should be allowed to be above the law. 

Parents
  • people with autism have allways been a target for the goverment i dont blame him i have been a victim of what types safeguarding measures and how ridiculous the people can be with them he has a Distrust of the system that has never given him a fair and treatment ( most likey )

    You are right  Being Autistic doesn't give anyone the right to behave in the way he does, but what does give him the right to be mad and angry is how he is treated by wider society just understand that if anything i cant speak for his personal experiance or yours just know that  just try and understand his point of view on things

  • He hasn't been treated unfairly by society. He has done wrong to others through violence. 

Reply Children
  • so he was some what socially isolated ? have you tried getting him invoved with groups or community  ?  get him an account here so he can talk thought his issues

    I know it can be hard I suffer with simular kinds of things

    you mention he spends a lot of time on his PC does he play games with people or talk to anyone  ?  you mentioned he is into conspiracy theoriesis im sure there a group out there he can talk about what he likes etc . i have one my self and it really helps 

    PDA
  • He was.home educated, as I knew school wouldn't suit him. He didn't go to college (Special Needs) until he was 16.5yrs. 

    His Dad and I may not last much longer if he keeps having violent rages. 

  • he has society does not understand him or his views he has most likey stufferd though bullying right ? going to teachers for help with nonthing being done ? and you expect him to  trust authority figures ? you expect him to get along with others when others hurt him ?

    if he is getting violent its because hes simply frustrated and most likey people arent listening to him simply tell him if you are getting frustrated tell us in the simplest way mum/dad i am getting frustrated with this give him 5 minintes to carm down and ask him about what he is getting frustraed about and go from there . 

    im sure he loves you and his dad every much and hate him self when he gets like that regulaion can take ages to come into being just give him a chance and know what you are doing the best you can