Published on 12, July, 2020
I hate small talk. I hate that I can't grasp it. I hate how people randomly foist it on me. What's up with that!? I've been online shopping since Covid19 started but I decided to get out and give a small shop ago. It went ok. I was anxious but I coped and then came the till...... the woman started talking to me like we were good friends.... said about the weather, Christmas, even her cat Boris! I feel drained now. I feel an idiot for being unable to participate in her small talk. All I said was yes, no... mmm... Small talk, one of life's little mysteries.
I can do it but I do not thrive on it at all. Part of my mask/toolkit is to have some short, scripted, polite, and generally accepted responses loaded and ready to go incase I have too low energy to give a genuinely individual response. It will be stuff like nodding and smiling and "mhmm", "ah I see", "nice that sounds like fun /aw sorry(sympathy tone not apology) that doesn't sound like fun", and then "I hope you enjoy it/your time", "sorry to hear that", and "hope things improve" before of after "sorry I got someone waiting I got to go" so I can cut the interaction short and leave without being rude. BC it's not that I don't care but I have to guard my social energy bar very carefully so I can actually give my family at home the time I WANT to give them not just can struggle to give them.