To be honest, I've only recently started noticing the term "high masking" but I think it applies to me and has kept me from recognising my identity as an autistic person for DECADES. You see, I was also masking automatically and mistaking the persona for myself.
I should have been on to it, I suppose, given the number of times that people have got closer to me and observed something like, "You're not how I thought you'd be" or, when the mask dropped, "What's wrong?" But I didn't. I thought that was just down to normal variation in moods.
Does anyone else feel that way?
I noticed this video and found it quite an interesting exploration of high masking in women, although I suspect much of it isn't really gender specific.
www.youtube.com/watch