Published on 12, July, 2020
Sometimes, and for no particular reason, I say something out loud. I’m not sure if this is some sort of manifestation of Tourette’s, it isn’t usually anything obscene, I sometimes surprise myself and am left wondering why I said it as it seems to have no relevance to anything. I also count under my breath as I’m walking, sometimes people hear me mumbling and I’m immediately embarrassed. I’ve always done this, but only recently come to the conclusion that it might be an autistic thing…anybody else do this weird stuff?
This thread reminds me of something I meant to bring up and see if anyone does the same thing. I do sometimes talk aloud to myself, only ever in private and when I'm trying to either shake myself out of inertia or need to rigorously think something through in forensic detail. Somehow it can help sustain focus, and in a way it's a bit of a stim.
Anyway, in that first scenario (and only that first one), I've noticed that I use 'we' rather than 'I' a lot. So, if, for example, I'm trying to collect my thoughts around a to-do list and maybe taking action on one or two things I'll say 'Right, what are we doing and where are we going first?' or 'Have we got all we need before we head out here?' It may be residual from when one of my parents would say something like that back in childhood on behalf of them and myself both. Or maybe there's some unconscious leaking of a fluid identity of sorts - nothing as 'extreme' as multiple personalities, but maybe a not entirely anchored sense of my definitive 'self'.
I'm curious whether this is common or uncommon, or if anyone her does that/has noticed it in themself. Anyone willing to say either way, I appreciate it. Not sure I've witnessed it in anyone else (talking about stuff they will be doing solo with a self-referential 'we' or 'us'), even family members who might be expected to be most likely - if anyone- have the same quirk.
I learned about my subconcious and autonomic nervous system as a nipper, so I've always thought of parts of myself as being "separately addressable".
A "composite", if you will.