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Scary people

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My Step-father does not chat or talk
by doing so he puts me in a state of uneasy and freezing up around him
by his non-verbal communication involvement and gap silence
I don't know what to do or say when I am about him
I end up in a state of anxiety and confusion around him
I can't read his intents or figure out his behaviours
he has always been remote,,, he does not talk,, unless it is nick pick on you negatively. He makes more bodily sounds, like burping, farting, than actual communication, I swear he is a pig living as a man, is he actually human, I have seen dogs with better manners and communication ?
 
My question is ,,, he freaks me out by his non-verbal silence, it freezes me up due to the uneasy caused by his presence. This tension is like a confrontation within me, I can't do anything about because he does not dialogue with me in normal human fashion. How can you read a book which is closed !"
 
IS there a solution ?
except walk away, which I can not do due to the dependancy on my mother.
it is him,, but I AM the one having the over reaction due to my autism.
 
I just hate the control he has over my emotions
by his very presence in the room, he has been scaring me since childhood. He makes me feel helpless, powerless and angry at myself.  
 
Any advice ? ty
Parents

  • I suffer badly from people with pretensions, or groups of people who form cliques.

    I perceive I have a "one size fits all" approach to conversation - I might be imagining it though - its just how it feels. I understand deference and respect. But I have difficulty putting it over.

    People who expect deference, or a particular response from me, seem to feel I haven't treated them in accordance with their wishes. If I try to do it right I get accused of making fun of them. I guess some people you never can please, and probably NTs have just as much trouble with these people.

    In the workplace or social settings there always seem to be cliques. You are expected to learn some code or patter to be accepted by them, but if you work with them you need to get along with them. I cannot read these codes or respond to them, so I always have trouble.

    Another bugbear is with people whose humour consists of absolutes, like saying don't do that, when they mean if you do do that you'll find it is difficult - not the same as not doing it - why cannot they just say what they mean.

    I also wish people would back up gestures with meaningful speech.

    I tend to get into difficulties with authority figures,. I think they're obsessed about eye contact, being attentive, "look me in the eye", and if you cannot, or you appear to have the wrong expression they go out of their way to be difficult. I've got no hope of succeeding with people like that.

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  • I suffer badly from people with pretensions, or groups of people who form cliques.

    I perceive I have a "one size fits all" approach to conversation - I might be imagining it though - its just how it feels. I understand deference and respect. But I have difficulty putting it over.

    People who expect deference, or a particular response from me, seem to feel I haven't treated them in accordance with their wishes. If I try to do it right I get accused of making fun of them. I guess some people you never can please, and probably NTs have just as much trouble with these people.

    In the workplace or social settings there always seem to be cliques. You are expected to learn some code or patter to be accepted by them, but if you work with them you need to get along with them. I cannot read these codes or respond to them, so I always have trouble.

    Another bugbear is with people whose humour consists of absolutes, like saying don't do that, when they mean if you do do that you'll find it is difficult - not the same as not doing it - why cannot they just say what they mean.

    I also wish people would back up gestures with meaningful speech.

    I tend to get into difficulties with authority figures,. I think they're obsessed about eye contact, being attentive, "look me in the eye", and if you cannot, or you appear to have the wrong expression they go out of their way to be difficult. I've got no hope of succeeding with people like that.

Children
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