Hi everyone,
This will probably sound a bit weird but please bear with me if you can.
I am a 26 year old woman living in the UK. I have recently gone back to work after years of being a stay at home parent. I've never really fitted in anywhere, I was bullied badly during school and never had many friends. I have one friend who has been my closest friend since I was 8 and quite frankly I don't really want any more as I find it hard just communicating with the one... Anyway, since going back to work I've realised how little I know myself. I struggle with making conversation so I usually make myself much dumber than I actually am and if you ask why, I have zero idea. I also overshare A LOT because I can never sit in silence and just talk and talk, I'm trying to learn to keep myself quiet but I do find it difficult. I find myself asking stupid questions that I already know the answers too because I don't know what else to talk about. I copy everyone else around me and just hope that it gets me to the right place but honestly it's so exhausting.
I don't know what I should talk about, my main hobbies are true crime, reading and horror - most of which doesn't really fit in to the chatter at my work place. I've spoken to my manager about my struggles but I don't think they really understand. They said that my confidence is what holds me back a lot and this is true but I have zero idea how to increase my confidence. There is nothing good about myself - I have literally nothing to offer and I know it, so I don't want to overstep the mark at work pretending that I could actually be good at something.
There is no purpose to this post other than to hopefully feel less alone with others who understand my struggles. Thank you :)
