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On a knife edge this morning.

Oakling

Been at work less than an hour and already fought off 2 meltdowns. Not doing well at all today and concerned about having a meltdown at work. It’s never happened here before and I don’t want it to either. Genuinely worried at the moment.

I have a meeting in a week and a half to discuss adjustments. I just need to make it until then. But I’m at a tipping point right now.

Parents

  • Hello everyone. I’m sorry for this message, but to be honest, I could do with some support in not feeling so alone at the moment.

    It turns out the knife-edge moment described in this post was to one of a series that have developed as the week has gone on. Everyday this week has been similar and I have never felt so disconnected to the world around me than I do now. Every social situation I find myself in is a puzzle, like they often are, but they are now impossible. I’m feeling very paranoid about the people around me as a result of the difficulties I’m experiencing in reading them. 

    Im so close to melting down every day it seems. Even now as I sit and write this. I just feel so alone right now. In a world full of people, here I am, the imposter who doesn’t quite get it. 

    I think the reality is that I am mid burnout, but this one has snuck up on me with no warning. I have never cried this much in my life, but now I can’t seem to stop. Over the smallest thing, off I go. What’s all of that about?

    Anyway, as I said before, sorry for this post. I try not to do this sort of thing if I can help it, but I could do with that feeling of community that I get here.

  • in reply to Oakling

    You're not an imposter, it's not your fault you don't understand people who probably don't even realise they don't understand you! You're not alone.

    Can you take some time off work? It sounds like you need a break, and if we don't get one sometimes our body or brain forces the issue. If not, then at least make sure you spend your evenings and weekends resting and doing things which recharge you.

    Don't apologise for needing help, we all do sometimes, at least here seems like a safe friendly place.

Reply
  • in reply to Oakling

    You're not an imposter, it's not your fault you don't understand people who probably don't even realise they don't understand you! You're not alone.

    Can you take some time off work? It sounds like you need a break, and if we don't get one sometimes our body or brain forces the issue. If not, then at least make sure you spend your evenings and weekends resting and doing things which recharge you.

    Don't apologise for needing help, we all do sometimes, at least here seems like a safe friendly place.

Children
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