Can you help with advice for young people with Autism?

you need 10 000 hours to master the skill

Yes, I also relate to this. It doesn't feel like it's pointless, although if I cannot find a good solution it does get frustrating and hard to stop.

Even if it is of a past event i think that is trying to learn from it, running alternatives to wonder if i said this or did that instead might it have gone better? Definitely more problem solving than just dwelling on negatives i think.

endless variations of the same scenario, looking for the best possible outcome

even if it's a doomsday scenario, or maybe especially then

Dawn said:

some Autistic rumination can actually be constant action replay which searches for the detail that is as yet unseen

You explain this really well. I've been trying to put my finger on how to describe this but you have just done it perfectly!

Hi

Polite, concise and with intention to help young ones. An autistic dream. :D Specifically for a partner, and for a human in general. 

I’m not sure what advice I would like to give myself as a child, as I am still looking for useful advice for my current situation. I don’t really know at all what might have been useful to me as a child. I tend not to listen to advice very well anyway, which is probably not a useful answer.

As for the questions:

• Disclosing to boss: I did it accidentally with my current boss, when he read an article I had written online under my own name about living with autism. It went OK, but it wasn’t the best way to do it. My previous jobs were before my diagnosis.
• Experiences with emergency services: I haven’t had any experiences since my diagnosis. I had limited experiences before then (a couple of trips to A&E and I reported a mugging to the police), and they went fine with no communication issues.
• Public transport: I don’t drive (haven’t learnt due to anxiety about coping with driving) so have to use public transport. I feel uncomfortable on busy transport, but usually cope by focusing on a book or music. Occasionally strangers will try to talk to me (they usually seem to be drunk), which I don’t like and often ignore them or give very short answers to discourage them.
• Repetitive thoughts: I have had depression and OCD in the past, both involving repetitive thoughts. At other times I can get stuck on a particular thought, usually obsessing over an interaction that I felt went badly or a mistake I made at work or something I am anxious about, but sometimes on some other thought, particularly about a special interest. I don’t have good coping strategies for dealing with this, but try to be mindful and stay in the present. I tell myself that my thoughts are not always my friends and that I can sit with my feelings.
• Friends: I do have some friends. They fall into two categories, those I see in person, who I see irregularly, but can reconnect with after a long break, and those I know online, who I am in contact with more regularly (usually via blogs), but who can suddenly drop out of my life forever with no warning. I would like to have more friends. I feel I should also mention in this context that I am married, as I regard my wife as my best friend and vice versa.

NAS82808 said:

- Do you tell people / boss' that you have autism? How do you say it?

Actually when I was first diagnosed I told my boss I was going for diagnosis. Generally I slip it into conversation casually ... after I've been hired usually.

NAS82808 said:

- Have you had any experiences with the emergency services? How was your experience and did you tell them that you have autism?

I've some non life threatening health issues. Vision issues mostly. GPs mostly treat me like a hypochondriac. Giving blood is the worse. I fainted. They missed my vein but kept going. They've sent me to hospital to have blood taken ever since. The only time I've ever got them to take me seriously was the lumps on my balls. Benign as it happened but they got the tests done rapidly and took it seriously.

The police on the other hand, thankfully not had to deal with them too much. I got pulled over once because a police car saw me make a u turn in an odd place. I explained to him I was lost and he gave me directions. I once got pulled over by a couple of shirty police men who seemed to think I was on drugs (in fairness I was tired). They wanted to search my car. I gestured to my very messy car and told them to go ahead. All they were going to find was empty takeaway packets. I've been a witness to a crime at least 3 times. 1 time I was threatened with a gun, one time I was mugged in a park in broad daylight and one time I was present when a pensioner was mugged. The 1st 2 times the police were very good. When the pensioner was mugged they were rather dismissive. Said they didn't need my statement. The defence lawyer actually found me through a PI to get my statement so evidently they did need my statement.

I've been in A&E a couple of times. Again treated a bit like a hypochondriac. I've never felt the need to disclose my diagnosis but in fairness the formal diagnosis is relatively recent. On the other hand I've accompanied a friend into A&E lots of times. In ambulances even. She's autistic and always discloses. The've generally been quite good with her.

NAS82808 said:

- Do you use public transport?

I drive. I use public transport only as a last resort. Not because it scares me but it's slow, inconvenient and I often want to travel in the late evening.

NAS82808 said:

- Do you get annoyed when people say "I'm a bit autistic" or "everyone is on the spectrum" etc.

Not really. I've come to expect ignorance from 99% of the human race.

NAS82808 said:

- Do you have repetitive thoughts and how do you deal with them?

By acting on them in a positive way whenever posable. Better to light a candle than curse the dark.

NAS82808 said:

- Do you have friends? Do you want friends?

I used to have an active social life through student societies. That time ended when I was kicked out of said societies. Since then most of my friends have 'grown up,' got busy with work and serious relationships, too busy to make time for me. They've drifted away. My social life is on life support and I long for the good old days.

NAS82808 said:

Do you tell people / boss' that you have autism? How do you say it?

- Have you had any experiences with the emergency services? How was your experience and did you tell them that you have autism?

- Do you use public transport?
- Do you get annoyed when people say "I'm a bit autistic" or "everyone is on the spectrum" etc.
- Do you have repetitive thoughts and how do you deal with them?

- Do you have friends? Do you want friends?

1. Yes, work know all about it and my boss was supportive on the journey to diagnosis.  But the true answer to this question lies with the boss more than the young person.  A well disposed boss will be receptive however they tell them.  An ignorant one won't.  There really is no magic answer to this unless you know the individual.  I just got lucky.  My boss had vast experience teaching kids on the Spectrum and I trusted him in absolute.  Not everyone is so fortunate.  Beyond that, I have no qualms about telling new people I am Autistic, but then I am of an age where I can weather other people's ignorance better.

2. 'Emergency services'...well, it was my problems with medical phobias and communicating with medical staff such that I was struggling to access health care, which brought me to my diagnosis.  My experiences with them were consistently awful, but they mostly thought I was just being difficult.  Now that I know, I am finding it a mixed bag when I tell them. Some still have no understanding, but many have been excellent and adapted to my need.  I have an "I am Autistic" card to show if I am struggling to talk to the receptionist even, and I have a dog tag around my neck in case I have an accident.  There is also a "passport" on the system for me now.  It has helped a very great deal.  I would highly recommend that your young people think about and plan for how to inform emergency services.

3. Transport.  I can't drive because of the perceptual and co-ordination problems due to my Autism. I've had no choice but to use public transport for years.  Yes, the crowds and the noise and all that exhaust me beyond belief and sometimes make me anxious, but I get on with it.  It will be different for all your young people.  Some can push through it, even though it's tiring for them, others can cope a bit better with headphones etc, some won't cope at all and will sharp find themselves in melt down.  If they don't have my kind of co-ordination problems to prevent driving, I'd encourage them to take the test and support them with the transport bit of PiP maybe to get them a means of getting out and about.

4.  I think most of us get irritated by: "everyone's a bit Autistic".... if everyone was, we'd all be living in a world better suited to our needs and we wouldn't have half the barriers to leading an ordinary fulling life that we do.  I try to be patient and educate, personally, rather than get annoyed, of course.  Perhaps, encourage them to see these things as an opportunity to open up other people's thinking and arm them with a few scripts that might politely trot out to correct the perception.

5. Repetitive thought.  Yes, but rarely of the type that are harmful.  Usually, they are about a problem I am trying to crack, say to do with my family history investigations.  When they have been harmful - I have had the suicidal ones and yes, it was dangerous, that will only go on until the problem is cracked.  It was on a loop, but the loop was looking for the missing clue as to whether this was my only option or not. I did come close to concluding it was.  This is a tough one.  CBT focuses on rumination and not doing it.... I see why when there's a dangerous thought, but some Autistic rumination can actually be constant action replay which searches for the detail that is as yet unseen. The irony is this is part of the process that at one and the same time took me close to suicide and CRACKED the puzzle of my own Autism, thereby revealing the true cause of my distress and saving my life.  I think you'd have to pick that apart quite carefully with each individual.  When is the thought cycle just fun, helping with something important and when is it hindering or even dangerously destructive?

6. Friends. Yes and I love them.  I had no idea how to play as a kid and was very badly bullied at school, but as friendship started to depend on shared interest and values, rather than silly games and fitting in with pointless gossip and fashion, I had and have friends.  I always gravitated naturally toward the other unconventional, unfashionable and non-judgemental cookies out there.  Funny, how a couple of them have turned out to be on the Spectrum too.  Birds of a feather and all that...

Hope some of that helps.

Nice to see professionals such as yourself popping into the community btw.  Nice to meet you.

I wish I had known that it was ok to be different. My advice would be:

• Stay true to yourself and don't do anything simply to try to fit in and appear normal. 
• Don't force yourself into busy social environments if you don't enjoy them.
• Study in whatever way works best for you.
• Focus on your special interests and try and find a career linked to them.
• Do more of what makes you happy and less of what doesn't.
• If something isn't working walking away doesn't mean you are a failure.

NAS82808 said:

Do you tell people / boss' that you have autism? How do you say it?

I do not tell many people, except where it is necessary to explain my communication needs. I am direct and say something like "I am autistic and prefer to communicate by email".

NAS82808 said:

Do you use public transport?

Only very rarely where driving would be too difficult or expensive. I use ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones and try and sit as far away from others as possible. Being able to drive is well worth the effort. Being in your own little metal box, insulated from the noisy and chaotic outside world, is far more tolerable than public transport.

NAS82808 said:

Do you get annoyed when people say "I'm a bit autistic" or "everyone is on the spectrum" etc.

Yes very 

NAS82808 said:

Do you have repetitive thoughts and how do you deal with them?

I do get stuck with autistic inertia and have repetitive thoughts, particularly if something is unfinished or unresolved. Getting into a flow state, absorbed in a special interest is the best way. If that isn't possible then number or logic puzzles can help. Sometimes getting out and going for a walk helps.

NAS82808 said:

Do you have friends? Do you want friends?

I don't have friends. Most of the time I am fine on my own and don't feel lonely. However going to new places is more difficult and stressful alone. I would like friends, even just one to go on days out and holidays with.

NAS82808 said:

- Do you tell people / boss' that you have autism? How do you say it?

- Have you had any experiences with the emergency services? How was your experience and did you tell them that you have autism?

- Do you use public transport?
- Do you get annoyed when people say "I'm a bit autistic" or "everyone is on the spectrum" etc.
- Do you have repetitive thoughts and how do you deal with them?

- Do you have friends? Do you want friends?

I was diagnosed at 59 shortly after taking early retirement - had I known I was autistic I would have informed my employers to get accommodations.

Yes, my daughter had what turned out to be a perforated appendix. My interactions were fine, like some other autistics small irritations can throw me, but in genuine emergencies I am very calm. I did not know I was autistic at the time.

Yes. I used the bus every working day. I coped fairly well, but crowded buses were unpleasant as I do not like physical contact with people I do not know well. I occasionally had to get off buses at random stops because someone's perfume was overwhelming.

Depends on the context. As a scientist I know that people exist with autistic traits that are sub-clinical, who would not get a diagnosis, but are clearly 'a bit autistic'. However, if such phrases are used in an attempt to minimise the problems faced by clinically diagnosable autistic people, it would make me annoyed.

No, I do not get repetitive thoughts. I do, however, sometimes get obsessed by specific subjects and research them obsessively.

Yes I have friends, some of whom I have known since schooldays. 

HI i am KJ to protect my identity . i also have autism . I'm gonna describe all the question if i'm able to . i do tell people i am autistic . idk how i normally say it but i try to be truthful. i did have unpleasant experiences with emergency services and some people just don't help me i live in glasgow in newton mearns . i do use the bus pretty much everyday of my life it's harm but getting used to it . i do get annoyed when people say that i especially hate it when people lie to me like that . I've been feeling really out of control because of all the other disabilities i also have but um i deal when i write it in my journal or diary and tell people or try to do my hobbies like reading , mindfulness colouring , music , etc, i don't actually have any friends but um i have 7 bffs