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Please Help...!

Marty78

Hello,

I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at the end of 2012 following a "mini-breakdown" at work due to extreme stress of moving within the business to a new propety and an overbearing manager who had cornered me in my office and started to shaout at me. Before my diagnosis i was entered into a disciplinary procedure called a PIP or Performance Improvement Plan which i failed and was given an informal warning. I have been on PIP after PIP and have been recieving warnings ever since.

Each PIP and disciplinary hearing involved question after question being thrown at me in quick succession to which i was unable to give any thought to or answer and then made to sign a warning notice each time. I once dissagreed with the content after reflection and when told to sign my last PIP refused as i did not agree with some parts of it. My manager then called in another manager to whom she has previously had intimate relations with and he told me that i had no choice and must sign it saying that my issues with it would be cleared up before the end of the PIP which they have not.

I have also recieved an email from my manager to me only containing a joke about mental health, which i will not repeat on here due to it's distasteful content, titled "Happy Mental Health Day" which at the end stated "Happy Mental Health Day! You can do your part by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend...  Done my part!!!"

During the start of one of the PIP meetings both my manager and her manager both made lewd comments about a woman that i had been on my first date with due to the quantity of children she has and a few weeks later recieved a phone call internally to my office from my managers manager with further derogatory remarks about her after seeing a picture of my date on facebook!

I removed all management from my facebook after this phone call and was unable to enter the office for several days due to how angry i was.

My manager and her manager have both made me feel like they are trying to get rid of me and now they have been through my facebook page and now i am being called into a disciplineary hearing for gross misconduct. I have seen my friends and shown them everything and they say that there is nothing in the comments for the company to act upon. The thing that i am extremely worried about is that when it comes to the hearing i will be unable to defend myself as one of my friends described me as "a rabbit in the headlights" when i am quizzed or questioned and when stressed am unable to think straight and my mind goes blank so i always end up agreeing with everything said just to make it go away in the hope that they will just shut up and leave me alone!

I have attended 8 counselling sessions with a counsellor assigned by the company's Employee assistance program in which i told my counsellor some of these things and she told me to keep a record in a diary of anything that happens which i have done thus far.

I have been in my job for over 5 and a half years and have never had any disciplinary previous to moving to the new site but have been constantly told by my manager that i am lacking in confidence in every appraisal and to my face. I am not lacking in confidence i just don't know what to say sometimes to i keep to myself and don't see the point in telling the world of my confidence levels.

I am now so stressed out that i am not sleeping, eating very little and when i do eat i just feel sick.

If i lose my job then i lose my flat that i have just moved into, any prospect with the woman i have been dating (my first attempt at a relationship in 8 years!).

I feel like i am beginning to fall apart again and don't want to as i've worked hard to get to where i am and do not feel that i could recover a second time :(

Is there anyone that can help me please......

Parents

  • I have asked a work colleague who is a manager in another department and that i trust and also knows his stuff on the diciplinary process.

    I have also been to the CAB and they have given me advice on what to do and say and how to present what i want and need to get accross, they have also advised me to raise a grievence against my manager for discrimination and harrasment due to the time passed since advising of diagnosis and no reasonable adjustments being made to date. they also advised me that i have a very strong case for a tribuneral for both things and should let the company know this.

    The lady read my facebook conversation and the company social media policy and said that there is nothing that i have said that breaches their own policy and that this disciplinary hearing is unjustified let alone a push for gross misconduct and that from what i told her and what she has seen that it looks to her like i am being pushed around because of not being able to stand up for my self very well. She also said that if i persent myself at the hearing with a large amount of the "ammo" that i have it will scare them into doing things correctly although it may also make it very difficult for me to have any future within the company. That doesn't make me feel so bad though as at least it will be highlighted and hopefully make them think twice about doing this to anyone else in the future. I wouldn't wish all ive been through the last couple of years on anyone, not even my manager :(

    I've also been offered a chance at an apprentiship elsewhere yesterday which pleases me immensely and means i have nothing to lose by bringing everything to light in this way. I only hope i can hold it together at the hearing and not freeze up and let them walk all over me Undecided And i'll not sleep at all tonight, i'm so wound up and worried, i've still got to get through 11 hours of my shift before the hearing! Foot in Mouth

    Thanks everyone for your advice and i will let you know what happens when i get home from work. I have everything written up and i am as prepared as i can be :)

    Marty

Reply

  • I have asked a work colleague who is a manager in another department and that i trust and also knows his stuff on the diciplinary process.

    I have also been to the CAB and they have given me advice on what to do and say and how to present what i want and need to get accross, they have also advised me to raise a grievence against my manager for discrimination and harrasment due to the time passed since advising of diagnosis and no reasonable adjustments being made to date. they also advised me that i have a very strong case for a tribuneral for both things and should let the company know this.

    The lady read my facebook conversation and the company social media policy and said that there is nothing that i have said that breaches their own policy and that this disciplinary hearing is unjustified let alone a push for gross misconduct and that from what i told her and what she has seen that it looks to her like i am being pushed around because of not being able to stand up for my self very well. She also said that if i persent myself at the hearing with a large amount of the "ammo" that i have it will scare them into doing things correctly although it may also make it very difficult for me to have any future within the company. That doesn't make me feel so bad though as at least it will be highlighted and hopefully make them think twice about doing this to anyone else in the future. I wouldn't wish all ive been through the last couple of years on anyone, not even my manager :(

    I've also been offered a chance at an apprentiship elsewhere yesterday which pleases me immensely and means i have nothing to lose by bringing everything to light in this way. I only hope i can hold it together at the hearing and not freeze up and let them walk all over me Undecided And i'll not sleep at all tonight, i'm so wound up and worried, i've still got to get through 11 hours of my shift before the hearing! Foot in Mouth

    Thanks everyone for your advice and i will let you know what happens when i get home from work. I have everything written up and i am as prepared as i can be :)

    Marty

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